By Mike McPadden
We gather together this November to give thanks for the DVDs that will, in turn, give us yanks. So grab your Horn(y) of Plenty and belly up to this buffet of bare-skin-stuffed arrivals on DVD for the first half of this month.
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NOVEMBER 7, 2006
FREAK OUT (2004)
STUDIO: AnchorBayEnterintamnt.com
NUDES: Chili Gold (Picture: 1) (breasts, butt), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Freak Out twists the Pygmalion plot device of a worldly tutor transforming a social outcast into a high-brow debutante by spiking the story with blood, guts, and boobies. When an escaped mental stumbles upon a pair of horror fanatics that he is too inept to murder, the lads attempt to remake the would-be psycho in the mold of Jason, Michael Myers, and other big-screen slashers. Complications result, naturally, and the fright fans must work to defeat their slay-happy creation. Adding flesh to the bloody proceedings is the glowingly monikered Chili Gold.
GOD'S SANDBOX (2002)
STUDIO: Indican Pictures
NUDES: Meital Dohan (Picture: 1 - 2) (FFN, butt), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Israeli superstar Meital Dohan scorches the screen as an author searching the desert for her daughter in the Middle Eastern drama God's Sandbox. All that sunshine apparently makes Meital feel delightfully free as she repeatedly romps in the nude, sometimes during sex and sometimes just splashing about with various skinny-dipping hippies. The plot ultimately hinges on female circumcision among the dunes, but don't let that bummer drench the heat generated by God's Sandbox, courtesy of Meital's gland-box!
JEKYLL + HYDE (2005)
STUDIO: LionsGate
NUDES: Robyn Palmer (Picture: 1) (breasts), Katrina Matthews (breasts)
THE SKINNY: Jekyll + Hyde may boast a seemingly familiar title, but this skewed reworking of the man-into-monster metamorphosis story is original, refreshing, and, best of all, spiced with howlingly hot female nudity. Med student Jay Jekyll (Bryan Fisher) seeks to concoct a formula that will prompt a complete personality transformation in those who consume it. Even after an experiment involving hottie Bree Turner goes awry, the mad doc keeps at it, ultimately changing himself from a science geek into a campus stud who can nail any coed on campus, including Robyn Palmer and Katrina Matthews. Unfortunately the power-shake in question makes him a crazed killer, to boot. Still, those boobies are worth the headache.
LAURA'S TOYS (1975)
STUDIO: RetroSeductionCinema.com
NUDES: Rebecca Brooke (Picture: 1) (FFN, butt), Anita Ericsson (FFN), Cathja Graff (FFN, butt), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: From vintage softcore-master Joe Sarno comes Laura's Toys, the story of an archaeologist (adult-film actor Eric Edwards) and his wife, played by sumptuous blonde siren Rebecca Brooke in the title role. When the couple is stationed on an island off the coast of Sweden, Edwards undertakes an affair with his nubile assistant (Cathja Graff), while Rebecca looks up--and goes down on--her old school pal and lesbo kissing buddy, Anita Ericsson. The lady lovers ultimately conspire to seduce Cathja, and Laura's Toys spins out into a great, high-class (but still deliciously trashy) sexploitation soap opera that could only have been made in the 1970s.
NEW LOVE IN TOKYO (1994)
STUDIO: AnimEigo
NUDES: Reiko Kataoka (Picture: 1) (FFN, butt), Sawa Suzuki (Picture: ) (FFN, butt), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Ayumi (Reiko Kataoka) is a call girl; her best friend Rei (Sawa Suzuki) works as a dominatrix. Welcome to New Love in Tokyo. This sensitive-but-sensual study of Japanese sex workers focuses not only on the seamy side of its subjects' lives, but also on Ayumi's relationship with her collegiate boyfriend and Rei's performances with an amateur theater group. New Love in Tokyo showcases these Asian eyefuls at their best--and barest!
THE SEDUCTION (1982)
STUDIO: AnchorBayEntertainment.com
NUDES: Morgan Fairchild (Picture: 1 - 2) (breasts, bush, butt), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: At the height of her popularity on the NBC nighttime soap Flamingo Road, mouth-watering Morgan Fairchild made a bid for big-screen stardom with The Seduction. The movie is a high-gloss (but typically hysterical) stalker opus in which Morgan, as a TV newscaster, turns down a come-on from station lackey Andrew Stevens. That's bad news for her, but great for the movie's plot--and our peepers--as Stevens then spies on and terrorizes his would-be beloved, until she picks up a shotgun and does what comes naturally to women in these types of movies. Be prepared to go off fully cocked yourself, as The Seduction serves up Morgan in the raw repeatedly, and now, thanks to digital technology, there's even a no-nonsense lap-rug revelation that was previously invisible.
SHADOWBOXER (2005)
STUDIO: Code Black
NUDES: Vanessa Ferlito (Picture: 1) (breasts), Helen Mirren (Picture: 1) (bush), Maria Soccor (Picture: 1) (breasts)
THE SKINNY: Mikey (Cuba Gooding Jr.) loves his mother. Some might say too much. Mama Rose (Helen Mirren) is a professional assassin who adopted and raised Mikey from birth but, when Shadowboxer begins, they've been getting it on with one another for some time. Now diagnosed with cancer, Rose calls on her boy to help her pull off one last rub-out. And "rubbing one out" very much comes into play while watching Shadowboxer as, aside from Helen showing hair pie in a kinky love scene with Cuba, Maria Soccor and Vanessa Ferlito also reveal rackage in sex tussles of their own.
TAKE MY EYES (2003)
STUDIO: New Yorker Video
NUDES: Laia Marull (Picture: 1) (breasts, bush, butt)
THE SKINNY: Ugly domestic violence propels the Spanish drama Take My Eyes, which features the thoroughly beautiful Laia Marull as an abused wife. Her brutal husband is played by Luis Tosar, who is stunned when his victim takes their child and finally leaves him at the movie's outset. Audiences will be stunned by Laia's actions as well, especially when, as is often the case, they involve this European beauty peeling off her clothes. You won't be able to take your Eyes off her.
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NOVEMBER 14, 2006
BROTHERS OF THE HEAD (2005)
STUDIO: IFC Films, Genius Entertainment
NUDES: Tania Emery (right breast)
THE SKINNY: Real-life siblings Luke and Harry Treadaway portray the titular characters of Brothers of the Head, conjoined twins who achieve crash-and-burn-style rock stardom in England during the glammy1970s. This mock-documentary struck arthouse audiences with its wicked wit, as much as tasty Tania Emery will stun all comers with her naked tit.
CHEATIN' HEARTS (1993)
STUDIO: LionsGate Home Video
NUDE: Sally Kirkland (Picture: 1) (breasts, bush, butt)
THE SKINNY: In the modest family drama Cheatin' Hearts, James Brolin plays a no-good husband who once left his M.I.L.F.-tastic missus, Sally Kirkland, and returns years later for their daughter's wedding. After nearly an hour and a half of well-crafted, strongly acted interplay between characters, Sally sends Hearts soaring into the stratosphere by stripping completely nude in the middle of a public street! When it comes to nudity, that ain't Cheatin'!
JOYEUX NO? (2005)
STUDIO: Sony
NUDES: Diane Kruger (right breast)
THE SKINNY: The moving European film Joyeux No?/em is based on a true story that took place on Christmas Eve, 1914, amidst the horrific bloodshed of World War I. As the holiday looms, frontline soldiers from the German, British, and French armies declare an informal truce, coming together in peace to talk, share a meal, and play soccer. As if any more of an argument needed to be made for laying down arms, delectable Diane Kruger bares one of her jingle boobs. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good right!
MASTERS OF HORROR: JOHN MCNAUGHTON'S HAEKL'S TALE (2006)
STUDIO: AnchorBayEntertainment.com
NUDE: Leela Savasta (breasts, butt)
THE SKINNY: John McNaughton, who directed the chilling favorite Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986), brings his intense touch to the "Haekl's Tale" installment of Showtime's Masters of Horror series. Boasting a script by fright giant Clive Barker, this Tale is told by a witch who warns about the consequences of raising the dead. For all the bloodshed and flesh-hungry ghouls, the conjuring of corpses also involves Leela Savasta getting naked in a graveyard, so it's obviously all worthwhile.
SIX FEET UNDER: THE COMPLETE SERIES
STUDIO: HBO
NUDES: Rachel Griffiths (butt), Alexandra Holden (breasts), Veronica Hart (Picture: 1) (breasts), Idalis DeLeon (Picture: 1) (breasts), Michelle Ruben (Picture: ) (breasts), Christi Lake (FFN, butt), Lee Garlington (breasts), Tina Holmes (Picture: 1) (breasts)
THE SKINNY: HBO's now-classic series Six Feet Under explores the comings and many, many goings of a Los-Angeles-based undertaker's family and their associates. Sex is nearly as prevalent as death on the show (which is saying something!), and a particular nod for excellent nakedness goes to former MTV host Idalis DeLeon, who bares glands to beat the band in a 2004 episode. Six Feet Under will give you six inches up!
UBALDA, ALL NAKED AND WARM (1972)
STUDIO: NoShameFilms.com
NUDES: Edwige Fenech (Picture: 1) (breasts), Karin Schubert (Picture: 1) (breasts, butt), Gabriella Giorgelli (Picture: 1) (breasts)
THE SKINNY: Ubalda, All Naked and Warm is a prime example of '70s sexploitation comedies set in the Middle Ages with gorgeous women in chastity belts (and often less) and knights trying to be Lancelot. What makes this one unique is its Italian origin and sexy pasta-straightening stars such as Edwige Fenech, Karin Schubert, and Gabriella Giorgelli.
