Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of September 16, 2008.
88 MINUTESBLUE RAY (2007)
STUDIO: TriStar Pictures
NUDE: Leah Cairns (right breast, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Al Pacino is a professor who gets a death threat. He has 88 minutes left to live. That gives this thriller its title, 88 Minutes, and a tension that needs release. While the film is filled with fine females such as Alicia Witt, Leelee Sobieski, Deborah Kara Unger, and Amy Brenneman, it’s relatively unknown brunette Leah Cairns, from Battlestar Galactica, who sends the skin into orbit. When Leah flashes her ass and tits, wearing only an apron, you’ll kill more sperm in 88 minutes that any professor can save.
THE BABYSITTERS (2007)
STUDIO: Peace Arch Home Entertainment
NUDE: Katherine Waterston (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The 2007 drama The Babysitters stars Katherine Waterston as a teenage babysitter named Shirley whose affair with one of her married clients (John Leguizamo) soon leads to her opening up a babysitting service that doubles as a prostitution ring that brings in money by the (truck)load. Katherine Waterston, daughter of Law Order’s Sam Waterston, also shows off her rackage, and that will have you banging your own gavel. Chung-chung!
I-SEE-YOU.COM (2006)
STUDIO: Warner Home Video
NUDES: Rosanna Arquette (butt), Baelyn Neff (left breast) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The internet-age comedy I-See-You.Com stars Mathew Botuchis as a teenager who installs webcams throughout his house and broadcasts the lives of his toilet-bowl-salesman stepfather (Beau Bridges), sex-addict day-trading mother (Rosanna Arquette), and spoiled stepsister (Baelyn Neff) on a website called I-See-You.Com. The family discovers the site, but their anger turns to enthusiasm when they see how much money it’s bringing in. Unfortunately, becoming Internet stars ruins the family’s dynamic and leads to infidelity, backstabbing, and, eventually, the literal destruction of the home itself. Rosanna Arquette uses a body double here for her butt shot at the pool and Baelyn keeps her boobs covered with her hands in her topless scene. With babes as hot as these, we wish we Could-See-More.com!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS (1981)
STUDIO: Rhino Entertainment
NUDE: Diane Lane (right breast, butt)
THE SKINNY: “Join the professionals/be a professional,” sings a very young and nubile Diane Lane, in one of her first roles as disaffected teen Corrine “Third Degree” Burns in the cult classic Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains. After her mother’s death, she hits the road with her band in search of stardom. Failure is not an option, and the girls’ lack of talent is not a consideration as their wild looks and rebel-without-a-cause attitude makes the Stains instant celebrities. And Diane’s a rebel without a shirt when she peels off to slip into the shower. You gentlemen will be feeling some fabulous pains . . . where it counts!
A MAJOR INCONVENIENCE (1999)
STUDIO: Synkronized USA
NUDE: Mireille Perrier (breasts)
THE SKINNY: The French drama A Major Inconvenience stars Jalil Lespert as budding soccer star Laurent, who is in love with forty-year-old Fabienne (Mireille Perrier), which, for his career, presents a major inconvenience. Ms. Perrier flashes flesh, and that’s sure to put some bubbles in your water!
RISKY BUSINESS: 25th ANNIVERSARY DELUXE EDITION (1983)
STUDIO: Warner Home Video
NUDES: Rebecca De Mornay (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Francine Locke (breasts, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Tom Cruise has a head for Risky Business, and his mission statement is "What the fuck." Following that bit of advice sends him off on a wild weekend home alone, drinking, wrecking dad's Porsche, and ordering the high-priced whore Rebecca De Mornay. After a skinful night with the raunchy Rebecca, Cruise finds himself in a pickle thanks to dipping his pickle in something he can't pay for. What follows is the cream of the teen sex comedies of the '80s, which ends with Cruise pimping Rebecca's stable to his horny schoolmates. This classic made dancing in your underwear cool but, even better, exposed the titanic talents of Rebecca and Francine Locke in a fantasy shower scene. The only risk in this business is soiling your pants.
SUPER NINJA DOLL (2007)
STUDIO: Retromedia
NUDES: Syren (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Christine Nguyen (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Nicole Sheridan (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Beverly Lynne (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Kitty Katzu (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Jassie James (FFN, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Schlockmeister extraordinaire Fred Olen Ray (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers) casts Christine Nguyen in the title role of the tongue-in-cheek (and bikini-tops-on-the-floor) romp Super Ninja Doll. Actually, that’s her superhero identity. By day, she’s Eriko, a mild-mannered college student and comic-book fan. When aliens threaten earth, it’s up to Super Ninja Doll and her cabal of cooperative naked female knockouts to save the human race. Can they pull it off? Of course they canjust as easily as they pull of their clothes. Which happens a lot. And it’s awesome.
TARZEENA: QUEEN OF KONG ISLAND (2008)
STUDIO: Retromedia
NUDES: Christine Nguyen (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Nicole Sheridan (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Syren (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: In the titular role of Tarzeena, Queen of Kong Island, Christine Nguyen will peel your banana and get you beating more than just jungle drums. Blonde bombshell Nicole Sheridan portrays Mandy. She learns of a fortune that she stands to inherit if she can locate Tarzeena, who was lost in the bush when she was just a baby. All grown up and eager to get naked, Tarzeena proves to be an object well worth seeking out. Every time some hot babe turns up nude on Kong Island, you’ll feel like a king (and grow king size at the same time!).
WOMAN TIMES SEVEN (1967)
STUDIO: Lions Gate
NUDE: Shirley MacLaine (butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Woman Times Seven includes seven tales of adultery, with Shirley MacLaine constantly believable in seven different roles as a sexual player. Topics include private eyes, secret nymphomaniacs, housewives-turned-hookers, and overworked husbands. Her co-stars include Alan Arkin, Michael Caine, Peter Sellers and morebut it’s hard to top the support that MacLaine gets from her fine topless titties in a surprisingly sexy scene.
