Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of March 31, 2009.
THE BROKEN (2008)
STUDIO: Lions Gate
NUDE: Lena Headey (breasts), Michelle Duncan (breasts, butt)
THE SKINNY: Fittingly, British babe Lena Headey stars in the heady fright film The Broken as Gina, a woman who first imagines seeing herself drive by in a car and then finds herself fleeing her homicidal look-alike all over London. As Gina copes with this bizarre threat, she becomes subject to ever more paralyzing nightmares. While this exercise in psychological terror may seem like a far stretch for writer-director Sean Ellis (who previously gave us Keeley Hazell's massive melons in 2006’s Cashback), in The Broken he makes sure to deliver the naked goods, here from both Lena and delicious co-star Michelle Duncan.
CAREFUL (1992)
STUDIO: Zeitgeist
NUDES: Gosia Dobrowolska (FFN) (Picture-1), Katya Gardner (breasts, butt) (Picture-1), Sarah Neville (breasts, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Directed by Canadian arthouse guru Guy Maddin and shot using a technique to make it resemble an MGM musical or a Disney feature, the surreal comedic drama Careful tells the story of a Swiss village set high in the Alps where the residents must be careful not to make noise to avoid setting off an avalanche. But when a young man commits suicide after a dream about having sex with his mother, the town falls into chaos. Katya Gardner and Sarah Neville both show TA, and Gosia Dobrowolska goes full frontal. Be careful not to sprain your wrist!
COME PLAY WITH ME (1977)
STUDIO: Televista
NUDES: Mary Millington (FFN, butt), Sue Longhurst (breasts), Suzy Mandel
THE SKINNY: In the swingin' 1970s, millionaire David Sullivan ruled England’s skin magazine business as the publisher of Mayfair and Playbirds. Taking his libertine sensibilities to the big screen, Sullivan lucked into charismatic sexbomb Mary Millington, and together they forever dyed British cinema a deeper shade of blue via their skinternational blockbuster collaboration Come Play with Me. The plot of Come Play centers on a crackdown on counterfeiters that sends a couple of bumbling money forgers into hiding on a Scottish health farm, where naked ladies are plentiful and slapstick comedy abounds with every pratfall. Although strictly softcore, Come Play with Me’s unprecedented successit played continuously at the Moulin Cinema in London's West End from 1977 to 1981qualifies this likable, light-as-an-ass-tickling-feather romp as the UK’s answer to Deep Throat.
CRAZY ANIMAL (2007)
STUDIO: Troma
NUDE: Jessel (breasts) (Picture-)
THE SKINNY: In the surreal revenge comedy Crazy Animal, a group of teenage girls lures some frat boys out to a secluded cabin with the promise of sex but trap them there so they can make one of them, Jeff (Steven McCloskey II), to confess to a crime. In order to torture the confession out of him, the girls enlist heavy-metal singer Ricky (played by director John Birmingham) to sing to Jeff until he confesses. But Ricky’s terrible singing sends Jeff into a rage and a subsequent killing spree. You’ll be on a sperm-killing spree when you see tattooed babe Jessel bare her chest-el for some drunk dudes.
DYING BREED (2008)
STUDIO: Lions Gate
NUDE: Melanie Vallejo (right breast, butt)
THE SKINNY: The pick-’em-off fright flick Dying Breed tracks the progressand undoingof a group of curious friends venturing into a jungle off the coast of Australia to see if the Tasmanian Tiger still exists. In short order, they find out that hostile natives definitely do exist and, as these outsiders hunt the tiger, the locals hunt them. Playing like a sort of South Pacific Deliverance, Dying Breed delivers the thrills, not the least of which is the right breast and sweet butt of co-star Melanie Vallejo.
FUGITIVE GIRLS (1974)
STUDIO: S’More Entertainment
NUDES: Rene Bond (breasts, butt) (Picture-1), Tallie Cochrane (breasts) (Picture-1), Margie Lanier (breasts, butt, bush) (Picture-1), Donna Young (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Written by the legendary Ed Wood and released four years before his alcoholic death, Fugitive Girls stars Jabie Abercrombe, Tallie Cochrane, Donna Young, Margie Lanier, and early porn star Rene Bond as five escaped convicts who are trying to make it to Rene’s cache of stolen money. Along the way, the girls get naked frequently, indulge in some Sapphic sex with each other, beat up hippies, steal cars, and make a crippled Vietnam vet to watch them do his wife. Finally the sheriff catches up with them and, in a twist worthy of O. Henry, the one girl who is actually innocent of the crime for which she was convicted learns that her charges were about to be dropped. Back to the naked cage, ladies!
PORNORAMA (1992)
STUDIO: Private Screening Collection
NUDES: Rusty (breasts), Skye Blue (breasts, butt), Alexis De Vell (FFN, butt), Chantilly Lace (FFN, butt), Shayla LaVeaux (breasts, butt, bush), Francesca L (FFN, butt), Alicia Rio (FFN, butt), Samantha Strong (breasts, butt), Tracy West (FFN, butt)
THE SKINNY: The five-part, adults-only documentary series Pornorama takes a skin-depth look at the jizz biz during the days between the initial home-video revolution of the 1980s and the explosion of the Internet later on in the ’90s. Helmed by Edward Penishands director Paul Norman and co-hosted by alluring Alexis De Vell and hairy hedgehog Ron Jeremy, Pornorama visits video sets and photo shoots. Among the XXX stars exposing their bodies and souls on-camera here are Samantha Strong, Shayla LeVeaux, Tom Byron, Brittany O'Connell, Peter North, Alicia Rio, Jon Dough, Francesca L, Cal Jammer, Nick East, and Chantilly Lace.
THE SEXPLOITERS (1965)
STUDIO: Televista
NUDES: Gigi Darlene (breasts, butt) (Picture-1), Jackie Miller (breasts, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Back in the day, a good sexploitation director like Al Ruban knew that if he wanted to fill his screen with big-breasted beauties brandishing their boobs then he had to have an angle. For The Sexploiters he came up with the novel idea of pitching the picture as an expos of suburban housewives who work as nude models. That works for the hairy palms at Skin Central, especially as those naked home bodies belong to Gigi Darlene and Jackie Miller. Gigi, a busty blonde from the primordial era of New York City sexploitation, models her cans and buns for a dirty photographer, while brunette Jackie makes her sole skin scene onscreen, also posing for the salivating shutterbug but adding a shower scene for good measure. That, and the fact that this movie may be the earliest use of the word sexploiters, makes this a classic.
THE SINFUL DWARF (1973)
STUDIO: Severin Films
NUDES: Clara Keller (breasts) (Picture-1), Lisbeth Olsen (breasts, butt, bush) (Picture-1), Anne Sparrow (breasts, bush) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The Sinful Dwarf is a deliciously sick and sordid cult classic about Olaf (Torben Bille), the diminutive menace of the title, who dazzles virginal nubiles with cheap-ass mechanical toys and then lures them to a dank lair where he addicts the unfortunate girls to heroin and keeps them chained upnaked, of course. Olaf’s co-conspirator in this dope-smuggling, white-slavery racket is Lila Lash (Clara Keller), his own mother! They also have a little real estate business on the side, which brings newlyweds Peter (Tony Eades) and Mary (Anne Sparrow) to rent an apartment from them, with potentially very sinister results. And definitely more female nudity.
THE SEDUCTION OF DR. FUGAZZI (2009)
STUDIO: Troma
NUDES: Alicia Gatto (left breast, thong) (Picture-1), October Kingsley (lesbian), Jovanna Vitiello (breasts, lesbian) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Straddling the genres of kinky erotic thriller and surreal arthouse flick, The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi stars writer-director October Kingsley as Dr. Anna Fugazzi, a young psychiatrist with what seems like the perfect life. But hallucinations and delusions are beginning to intrude more and more into her reality and threaten to shatter her existence. Hollywood A-lister Faye Dunaway appears as the enigmatic and elusive Detective Rowland. October doesn’t bare her rock-tobers, but she does get lusty and lezzy with topless babe Jovanna Vitiello. Dr. Fugazzi will write you a prescription for splooge-inol!
THE SEX ADVENTURES OF THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1971)
STUDIO: Televista
NUDE: Ingrid Steeger (FFN, butt), anonymous nudes
THE SKINNY: Those swashbuckling literary icons Athos (Thomas Larisch), Porthos (Jrg Coray), Aramis (Achim Hammer), and their lightning-quick, up-and-coming (hard) protg D’Artagnan (Peter Graf) get a rip-roaring nudie-movie treatment in The Sex Adventures of the Three Musketeers (1971). With their sabers drawn and their acrobatic skills honed for intense body-to-body contact, our heroes run rampant all over eighteenth-century France, a land that is most abundant with ripe, raw young maidens. Among the lovelies is Ingrid Steeger, whose completely nude body will have you polishing your rapier to perfection.
TELL NO ONE (2006)
STUDIO: MPI Home Video
NUDE: Marie-Jose Croze (FFN, butt)
THE SKINNY: The French thriller Tell No One boasts a tagline that really says it all: “Eight years ago, Alex's wife was MURDERED. Today . . . she e-mailed him.” Alex, a kind-hearted pediatrician, is portrayed by Franois Cluzet. Margot, his tech-savvy-from-beyond-the-grave missus, is embodied by luminously lovely Marie-Jose Croze. Can it be that she’s backand naked, to boot? This nail-biting, intricately plotted thriller is adapted from a best-selling suspense novel that sold six million copies and was translated into 27 languages. When you see Tell No One, you will see Marie-Jose Croze’s tits, ass, and pussy. Then, gotell everyone!
TIMECRIMES (2007)
STUDIO: Magnolia
NUDE: Barbara Goenaga (FFN) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The Spanish sci-fi flick Timecrimes stars Karra Elejalde as Hector, an average dude whose troubles begin when he uses his binoculars to watch Barbara Goenaga taking off her top in the woods. When he goes into the woods to investigate, he finds Barbara bare-breasted and unconscious before he is attacked by a man with a bandage over his face. Hector flees and runs into a scientist who puts him into a time machine that sends him back an hour, where he sees himself watching a girl through binoculars. Soon Hector is running around trying to dodge the two other versions of himself that have been created as a result of the time travel. You may not have a time machine, but you’ll probably find yourself rewinding to get another view of Ms. Goenaga’s gazongas. Timeless.
TOP GIRL (1996)
STUDIO: MYA Communication
NUDES: Linda Gucciardo (bush) (Picture-1), Sonia Topazio (breasts, butt) (Picture-1), Carla Solaro (FFN, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Written and directed by prolific Italian sleaze auteur Joe D’Amato, Top Girl stars sexplotiation queen Carla Solaro as Pamela Morgan, a busty blonde exhibitionist who likes to show off her flawless funbags, fanny, and furburger in front of the camera. Carla bares all three B’s, and her costars Linda Gucciardo and Sonia Topazio show bush and TA, respectively. Anyone would want to be on top of these girls!
