Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of August 5, 2008.
BELPHEGOR, PHANTOM OF THE LOUVRE (2001)
STUDIO: Lions Gate
NUDE: Sophie Marceau (butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: When a team of archaeologists performs a CAT scan on an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus, they release the evil spirit trapped inside in the Francophone fright fest Belphegor, Phantom of the Louvre. Parisian piece of poontang Sophie Marceau is a woman who chases her runaway kitty into the museum, where she becomes possessed by Belphegor and begins stealing antiquities from the museum. Before she starts stealing things, she’ll steel your thing when she flashes her ass. Now that’s a work of art.
CARMEN (2003)
STUDIO: Lions Gate
NUDE: Paz Vega (FFN, butt) (Picture-)
THE SKINNY: Carmen is the latest version of the classic story of the sultry heroine, whose tale was immortalized in the famous opera by Bizet. The spicy Spanish story finds a perfect vehicle here in the smoking-hot body of Paz Vega, who tempts a bullfighter to go toro into her torso. Paz makes the movie even more illicit than its overheated narrative by taking it all off in at least eight scenes that feature every inch of her exotically erotic body. She gets it in the endwell, between the tits, actuallywhen a jealous ex stabs her. It’s an understandable crime of passion, but if he couldn’t have her he should have killed himself so others could Paz the time.
THE COUNTERFEITERS (2007)
STUDIO: Sony Pictures Classics
NUDE: Marie Bumer (butt)
THE SKINNY: The fact-based drama The Counterfeiters tells the story of a Nazi counterfeit ring organized during World War II to produce foreign currency and weaken the Allies’ economy. Salomon "Sally" Sorowitsch (Karl Markovics) is the gambler and petty criminal who is taken out of Mathausen concentration camp to lead the operation. But soon Sally finds himself at odds with the Nazi officer overseeing him who refuses to treat the tuberculosis his friend has contracted in the camp. Eventually the Allies liberate the camp, but not before we get to see some nudity from Marie Bumer. Hopefully it’s not counterfeit.
FORTRESS (1993)
STUDIO: Warner Home Video
NUDES: Loryn Locklin (butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Director Stuart Gordon has seen the future, and he uses his fast-forward vision to creep the hell out of a rapt, anxious audience in Fortress. America has been overtaken by huge corporations that monitor and restrict the most personal and private of human endeavors. Only one kid is allowed per couple, and if yours dies, tough luck. Don’t try to conceive another, or it’s off to prisonthe Fortress. Brainscanners, cunning robots, death rays, and bombs implanted in every inmate’s body keep the confined population in line. There is no hope in even dreaming that escape is possible. But one man refuses to submit to the tyranny of his mechanized captors. With the aid of his good woman, he vows to make a run for freedom.
HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS: 20th ANNIVERSARY EDITION (1988)
STUDIO: Inifinity Entertainment/Hepcat
NUDES: Linnea Quigley (breasts) (Picture-1), Michelle Bauer (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Esther Elise (breasts, bush) (Picture-1), Tricia Burns (breasts) (Picture-1), Susie Wilson (breasts),
THE SKINNY: Sometimes it is best to let a runaway just run away, but not if the fleeing adolescent is the sweet but not so innocent cutie puss Linnea Quigley, the central figure of pursuit in Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. The private detective hired to track down and retrieve fair, fled Linnea discovers that she has fallen under the sway of a hooker cult that worships the ancient Egyptian god of chainsaws. This god is, befittingly, a bloodthirsty deity and demands human sacrifice along with copious amounts of rip-roaring gratuitous hooker nudity. Special effects, aside from generous quantities of fleshly delights, include a pair of provoked prostitutes engaged in a heated chainsaw duel! Directed with verve, humor, and panache by Fred Olen Ray, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers will make you laugh, make you horny, and make you think. "Have I pretty much lost my mind and my moral compass?" is one of the things you may think. And you’ll be glad you did.
JOY HOUSE (1964)
STUDIO: Koch Lorber Films
NUDE: Jane Fonda (left breast) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: In Joy House, acclaimed French director Ren Clment casts Alain Delon as Marc, a two-bit hood on the lam from some pretty big-time gangsters. After making his way to the Riviera, Marc plans to hide in a fleapit hotel run by cousins Melinda (Jane Fonda) and Barbara (Lola Albright). The ladies soon move Marc to a mansion they own, as Melinda begins to fall for him hard. Barbara is not so sure about harboring this refugee, and when the mob catches wind of his whereabouts, Joy House turns into a suspense thriller for all seasons. Also adding to the movie's importance is a nip slip from Ms. Fonda.
LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE (2008)
STUDIO: Warner Home Video
NUDE: Moneca Delain (breasts, butt)
THE SKINNY: The teen vampire cult favorite The Lost Boys (1987) is an early jewel in the careers of Kiefer Sutherland, Jami Gertz, Jason Patric, and, of course, the two CoreysHaim and Feldman. Twenty-one years later, a sequel rises from the beyond in the form of Lost Boys: The Tribe. Of the original’s cast, Corey Feldman returns as one half of the Frog Brothers, who live to send bloodsuckers back to Hell. This time, it’s brother Chris (Tad Hilgenbinrk) and sister Nicole (sexy Autumn Reeser) who end up enmeshed with the young and the undead. One way in which The Tribe improves upon its predecessor is by conjuring up some scary-hot female nudity, in the form of gorgeous Monica Delain. Her TA will put a wooden stake in your pants.
SLIPPERY SLOPE (2006)
STUDIO: Lifesize Entertainment
NUDES: Yolonda Ross (FFN, butt), Kelly Hutchinson (breasts, thong), Jessica Leccia (breasts, butt, thong)
THE SKINNY: Kelly Hutchinson is Gillian Black, a feminist filmmaker who makes hardcore porn movies in order to finance her documentary in the comedy Slippery Slope. To raise funds for her planned project, Feminism for Dummies, Gillian decides to adapt literary classics into porno movies, filming a version of William Shakespeare’s The Tempest as The Temptress and Charles Dickens’s Hard Times as Really Hard Times. As Gillian films her masterpieces, we get to see the ass-and-pieces of Jessica Leccia and Yolanda Ross. Call her Miss (Naked) Ross!
SUPERBADAZZ (2008)
STUDIO: Maverick Entertainment Group
NUDES: Molly Heartbreaker (breasts), Jackie Stevens (breasts, thong), A.J. Khan (breasts), Andrea Jaxxx (breasts, thong), Sonya C (breasts)
THE SKINNY: The outrageous hip-hop flavored romp Superbadazz chronicles the misadventures of two ghetto goofs who open a makeshift strip club in a local basement. All manner of misfits turn up (and turn on), including a hearing-impaired pole dancer, a peeler with a tracheotomy, and nerds from a nearby horror convention. Don’t worry about all the laughs getting in the way of your lust, though, as Superbadazz is packed end to end with hot honeys who bare their naked bodies.
VIRGIN WITCH (1971)
STUDIO: Redemption Films
NUDES: Ann Michelle (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Vicki Michelle (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Patricia Haines (breasts) (Picture-1), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Alternately titled Lesbian Twins, the British grindhouse feature Virgin Witch has managed to amass a cult following thanks to its surfeit of skin (and a modicum of horror). An occult examination of sisterhood, Ray Austin’s filmloosely based on a book by Klaus Vogelstars real-life sisters Ann and Vicki Michelle as aspiring models who are given their first big break by agency diva Patricia Haines. The girls show up at a remote highlands castle to strip and be photographed but end up participating in a sinister coven’s gathering. Austin’s film is infamous for the copious amount of skin time it affords its three leadsthere’s an incredible amount of nudity to go around. Patty and Vicki aren’t shy, but it’s Ann who hogs the limelight in more than half a dozen lengthy exposures.
