Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of April 7, 2009.
DONKEY PUNCH (2008)
STUDIO: Magnolia Pictures
NUDES: Sian Breckin (FNN, butt) (Picture-), Jaime Winstone (breasts, butt, bush) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The British thriller Donkey Punch tells the story of a group of seven hard-partying young people who meet up at a Spanish nightclub and decide to charter a yacht to keep the party going. But when a fatal accident claims one of their lives and someone wants to call the police, the drug-addled gang turns on each other faster than you can say Ibiza. Party girls Sian Breckin and Jaime Winstone show skin during some maritime sex scenes. Thar she blows!
FLESH GORDON MEETS THE COSMIC CHEERLEADERS (1989)
STUDIO: Hen’s Tooth
NUDES: Morgan Fox (breasts) (Picture-1), Robyn Kelly (breasts, thong) (Picture-1), Melissa Mounds (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Flesh Gordon 2 was also released as Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleadersbut maybe that title gives away too much of the plot. On the other hand, there’s a lot going on in this tale of cheerleaders who kidnap Flesh after an impotence ray leaves him with the last boner in the universe. For example, there’s the scene where Flesh has to fuck some chickens. It’s far better to contemplate this film’s bevy of beauties from beyond the stars, including Melissa Mounds, Dee Lux, Strawberry Angel, and future December 1990 Playboy Playmate Morgan Fox.
TAKING LIVESBLU-RAY (2004)
STUDIO: Warner Brothers
NUDES: Angelina Jolie (breasts, bush) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: In Taking Lives, successful FBI profiler Illeana Scott, played by the ample-lipped Angelina Jolie, is called in to help Canadian law enforcement find a serial killer who assumes the identities of his victims. Capable of placing herself completely in the mind of the madman, Illeana catches the suspected criminal in the act. But is he really the wanted man? All you really need to know is that the drop-dead-gorgeous Angelina's gratuitous flesh flashing will have men dropping like flies.
TANGO CASHBLU-RAY (1989)
STUDIO: Warner Home Video
NUDES: Dori Courtney (breasts), Roxanne Kernohan (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: It was inspired casting placing Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, two of filmdom's most macho he-men, together for a manwich of an action movie called Tango Cash. The two play cops who have to prove their innocence and in so doing kick ass. Stallone is Tango, a bit of an uptown dandy, to Russell's Cash, a street-smart tough guy who likes to fight crime shirtless. There's a running gag about Russell banging Stallone's sister, played by Teri Hatcher. It sadly never happens, and Teri's huge hooters remain unhatched. There is a backstage flash of flesh, but mostly these guys are into seeing each other smack the hell out of other men. It's weird, but who are we at Skin Central to criticize someone's life choice?
THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK (2005)
STUDIO: SecretKeyMotionPictures.com
NUDES: Stormy Daniels (breasts) (Picture-1), Glori-Anne Gilbert (breasts, bush) (Picture-1), Taimie Hannum (breasts, bush) (Picture-1), Jodie Moore (breasts, bush) (Picture-1), Monique Parent (breasts, bush) (Picture-1), Julie K. Smith (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: If every plaguing nightmare could be as tactilely and emotionally fulfilling as the recurring dream that propels the plot of The Witches of Breastwick, no man would ever have any motivation to wake up. Every time Breastwick’s hero lays himself down to sleep, his slumber is disturbed by visions of three super-stacked, angel-faced witches who lay him down nude style with plenty of verve and extra splashes of panache. In his waking hours, the bewitched wretch enlists his wife to help him track down the trio of tormenting demon women and bone each one of them in turn, thus freeing himself from their nocturnal curse. The dramatic conflict of Witches comes from wondering if its protagonist will be better off if his plan succeeds or if it fails.
THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK 2 (2007)
STUDIO: SecretKeyMotionPictures.com
NUDES: Tylene Buck (breasts, bush, lesbian) (Picture-1), Demi Delia (breast, bush) (Picture-1), Antonia Dorian (breasts, lesbian) (Picture-1), Taimie Hannum (breasts, bush) (Picture-1), Lexi Lamour (breasts, lesbian) (Picture-1), Rebecca Love (breasts, bush, lesbian) (Picture-1), Nicole Sheridan (breasts, bush) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Directed by the venerable H.R. Blueberry, The Witches of Breastwick 2 stars the tweeters and hoohoos of Tylene Buck, Demi Delia, Antonia Dorian, Taimie Hannum, Lexi Lamour, Rebecca Love, and Nicole Sheridan doing all sorts of things that will stiffen your wick. Forces of a supernatural sort lead a couple deep into the wild woods of Breastwick, where the lucky hubby has a hard time saying "No" to all the spooky, bazoomy broads who lurk in the forest giving wood to all who enter. Boooo(bs)!
