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SKINcoming DVDs

Tue, Jun 10, 2008 @ 12:00am by Mr. Skin (Comment!)
By Mr. Skin

Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases.

Get the complete skinny on the hottest DVD releases for June 3 to June 10, 2008!

June 3 to June 10, 2008


AMERICAN CRUDE (2007)
STUDIO: Sony
NUDES: Cynthia Watros (butt) (Picture: 1), Missi Pyle (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: Actor Craig Sheffer (Nightbreed, A River Runs Through It) directs the fragmented crime farce American Crude. Overlapping tales of marriage gone awry, robberies gone really awry, and a white slavery ring that actually seems to be going pretty well spin out hilariously, with uniquely insane characters played by an impressive cast that includes Jennifer Esposito, Rob Schneider, Michael Clarke Duncan, John C. McGinley, and Ron Livingston. Best of all, watch for debut nudity from Missi Pyle (the unibrowed babe from Dodgeball) and Cynthia Watros (the girlfriend on the TV series Titus and Libby on Lost). American Crude proves to be admirably lewd.

THE BALLAD OF NARAYAMA (1983)
STUDIO: Animeigo
NUDES: Junko Takada (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Aki Takejo (right breast) (Picture: 1), uncredited actressess
THE SKINNY: The nineteenth-century-set The Ballad of Narayama examines the ancient tradition of a Japanese village in which anyone who turns seventy must depart for a mountain in order to die there. Sumiko Sakamoto portrays sixty-nine-year-old Orin, who is bent on finding a wife for her son Tatsuhei (Ken Ogata) before it's her turn to hit the hills. Fortunately this leads to some sweet body baring on the part of potential spouses, which will have you singing the naked praises of this Ballad.

THE EROTIC RITES OF COUNTESS DRACULA (2001)
STUDIO: SeductionCinema.com
NUDES: Brick Randall (breasts, lesbian) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: A random act of lust at first bite unwillingly turns aspiring rock star Scarlet (Brick Randall) into a vampire harlot from hell in The Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula. Unhappy to be undead, she resists her urges to harm by charming female virgins into some pleasurable poking and prodding in her private chambers. When the girly action is not enough of a distraction to quench this vicious vixen's pulse-pounding thirst, defeated, she gives in to sucking skin. When it comes to your blood lust for booby babes, frankly Miss Scarlet, we do give a damn. See it today on a double-feature DVD release with Mummy's Kiss (2002).

KUSH (2007)
STUDIO: Maverick Entertainment Group
NUDE: Nicole Marie Lenz (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1 - 2)
THE SKINNY: The downbeat drug drama Kush stars Bret Roberts and William Atherton as Dusty and King, cocaine peddlers looking for one last score before getting out of the game. Of course, in the realm of illegal narcotics trafficking-and enjoyably hyper-violent direct-to-DVD action movies-walking away without complications is not a feasible possibility, so our semi-heroes find themselves in a high-impact pickle. Brightening the dire circumstances immeasurably is Playboy Playmate Nicole Marie Lenz, whose T&A will get you higher than the purest dope. Say no to drugs, say "Oh yeah!" to Nicole Marie Lenz naked.

MUMMY'S KISS (2002)
STUDIO: SeductionCinema.com
NUDES: April Flowers (FFN, butt, lesbian) (Picture: 1), Rhoda Jordan (breasts, lesbian) (Picture: 1), Aysia Lee (breasts, lesbian) (Picture: 1), Katie Lohmann (breasts, lesbian) (Picture: 1), Elina Madison (breasts, lesbian) (Picture: 1), Sasha Peralto (breasts, bush, lesbian) (Picture: 1), Regina Russell (FFN, lesbian) (Picture: 1), Mia Zottoli (FFN, butt, lesbian) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: New Jersey's greatest grindhouse studio, Seduction Cinema, is famous for its quickie spoofs of mainstream hits. But Mummy's Kiss isn't the expected rip-off of the successful Mummy franchise, but a throwback to the classic horror yarns of the '40s-albeit with lesbian nudity. Mia Zottoli plays a 3000-year-old Egyptian sorceress who was put to death because of her taste for good girl loving. She's on the prowl for the soul of her dearly departed, played by Sasha Peralto. Along the way every female in the cast gets involved in a softcore lesbian lick-off that will leave viewers almost wishing they didn't have that joint in their pumping hands so they could join in on the fun. See Mummy's Kiss on a new double-feature DVD release with The Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula (2001).

SEMI-PRO (2008)
STUDIO: New Line Home Video
NUDES: Kate Luyben (breasts) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Funnyman Will Ferrell follows up the smashing auto-racing send-up Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) and the figure-skating crack-up Blades of Glory (2007) by splattering laughs all over the basketball court in the 1970s-set farce Semi-Pro. Ferrell plays Jackie Moon, the wild-afro'd owner, coach, and star player of the Flint, Michigan, Tropics, who hope to make it to the big time in the NBA. Other athletes are portrayed by Woody Harrelson and Outkast's Andr?enjamin, but you'll be the one dribbling when curvaceous Kate Luyben scores two points by flashing her chest hoops at the camera. Semi-Pro won't leave you just semi-hard.

THE SIGNAL (2007)
STUDIO: Magnolia Pictures
NUDE: Aneesa Ramsey (slight bush)
THE SKINNY: Told Rashomon-style from three different perspectives, the fright flick The Signal is based on the terrifying premise that someone finds a way to send a mysterious transmission into every communication device that turns all those who hear it into murderous lunatics. There's enough blood and splatter here to satisfy gore hounds, and Anessa Ramsey flashes some flesh. The Signal is skin-ful!

ZAPPED! (1982)
STUDIO: MGM
NUDES: Heather Thomas (body double breasts), Jewel Shepard (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: Next to the ability to get naked and spy on nude chicks, the second impossible desire on every adolescent's wish list is the power to telekinetically rip off the clothing of every boob-iful girl he sees. That's just the gift that Scott Baio has in Zapped! Now these are real happy days! At the time there was no better target for such indecent attention than The Fall Guy star and all around blonde jiggle star of the boob tube Heather Thomas. And while Baio focuses his evil intent on her treasured chest, that booby prize belongs to an anonymous body double. B-queen Jewel Shepard is not as skingy and offers the movie's sole credited nudity. And what a credit those bouncing boobs are! Catch Zapped! on a double-feature DVD release with the funny-but shockingly skinless-Making the Grade (1983).

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