By Mr. Skin
Though April showers may come your way, they not only bring the flowers that bloom in May, but also such stormy weather provides a choice opportunity for you to catch up on the numerous nudity-intensive DVDs due in during the second part of the month.
APRIL 22, 2008
Charlie Wilson's War (2007)
STUDIO: Universal
NUDES:Hilary Angelo (breasts) (Picture: ), Cyia Batten (breasts, butt) (Picture: )
THE SKINNY: The fact-based saga Charlie Wilson's War stars Tom Hanks (He Knows You're Alone, alcoholic Uncle Ned on Family Ties) as the titular Texas congressman. Wilson aids rebels in Afghanistan who were fighting the Soviet invasion that began in 1979. He's supported by Julia Roberts (Satisfaction, Dr. Jekyll's maid in Mary Reilly) as conservative society matron Joanne Herring and CIA agent Gust Avrakotos, who's played by Philip Seymour Hoffman (Triple Bogey on a Par Five Hole, Robert De Niro's drag queen pal in Flawless). Come to Charlie Wilson's War for the political derring-do, but come hard for the hot-tub scene featuring Jud Tylor, Hilary Angelo, and Cyia Batten.
Fine Dead Girls (2002)
STUDIO: First Run Features
NUDES:Olga Pakalovic (butt) (Picture: 1), Nina Violic (butt) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: Don't try to pronounce the title of the seventy-seven-minute-long Croatian production Fine mrtve djevojke. Just understand that it translates in English as Fine Dead Girls and that the movie's dark story involves illegal sexual activity, homicide, and revenge. Also be aware that Olga Pakalovic as Iva and Nina Violic as Marija get naked. Another fun fact: Fine mrtve djevojke is the first Croatian movie in history to center on homosexual protagonists. Fortunately Olga and Nina will keep you from feeling gay.
Hannah Takes the Stairs (2007)
STUDIO: Genius Entertainment
NUDE:Greta Gerwig (breasts, bush)
THE SKINNY: Hannah, of the lo-fi indie hit Hannah Takes the Stairs, is portrayed by intensely appealing brainy blonde Greta Gerwig. The movie starts as Hannah's relationship with Mike (Mark Duplass) is drawing to a close. Next we see Hannah move through romances with Paul (Andrew Bujalski) and Matt (Kent Osborne). Most importantly, throughout Hannah Takes the Stairs, we also get to see the beauty who plays her take off her clothes.
Romulus, My Father (2007)
STUDIO: Magnolia
NUDE:Franka Potente (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: The title role of Romulus, My Father is portrayed by Eric Bana (The Hulk, Munich). His deeply depressed wife, Christina, is played by Franka Potente (Run, Lola, Run). Kodi Smit-McPhee is Raimond, their son. The story takes place in 1961 Australia and details how the family copes with Christina's mental illness and what happens when she takes an immigrant lover named Mitru (Russell Dykstra). Father and son bond as mother falls apart and, on that front, Franka falls out of her clothes. Romulus will make you cream us.
Trailer Park Boys: The Movie (2006)
STUDIO: Universal
NUDES:Lucy Decoutere (breasts) (Picture: 1), Cadence Macmichael (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY:Trailer Park Boys: The Movie is the big-screen adaptation of the acclaimed, internationally popular, and utterly uproarious Canadian TV show Trailer Park Boys. The movie begins with Ricky (Robb Wells), Julian (John Paul Tremblay), and Bubbles (Mike Smith) heading home from jail after the failure of their anti-masterfully-pulled-off attempt to rob a movie theater of its coins. Ricky is then faced with trying to win back longtime love Lucy (Lucy Decoutere), whose new boyfriend has purchased her a new set of boobs. Another great source of Trailer Park fun is that these boys love women who take off their clothes for a living.
APRIL 29, 2008
Confessions of a Young American Housewife (1974)
STUDIO: RetroSeductionCinema.com
NUDES:Arlana Blue (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Rebecca Brooke (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Chris Jordan (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Lana Joyce (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Jennifer Welles (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: From visionary smut-meister Joseph W. Sarno comes the classic softcore screen scorcher Confessions of a Young American Housewife. Rebecca Brooke portrays Carole, the titular sexbomb, who resides in suburban New York with her husband. All is sweet and swingin' for the free-loving couple until Carole's mother, Jenniferplayed by porn legend Jennifer Wellescomes to say for a while . . . emphasis on the comes. Jennifer quickly seduces her son-in-law, the guy delivering groceries, and her daughter's lesbian playmate. The story builds to a climactic orgy with tension mountingwill mother and daughter actually do one another? The breast way to find out is to pick up Confessions of a Young American Housewife pronto!
Delirium (1973)
STUDIO: Blue-Underground.com
NUDES:Christa Barrymore (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Rita Calderoni (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Stefania Fassio (FFN) (Picture: 1), Cristina Perrier (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Hungarian muscleman Mickey Hargitay stars in the psychedelic horror freak-out Delirium. He plays noted psychologist Herbert Lyutak, who is collaborating with the local authorities to track a serial slayer of beautiful women. Rita Calderoni portrays Mrs. Lyutak, who responds to her husband's work by being carried away in a series of abstract, blazingly sexual fever dreams that are punctuated every so often by gruesome murders. The shrink is also prone to erotic hallucinations, and Delirium ultimately explodes in a garish, richly colored tapestry of sadomasochism, lesbian orgies, and heaps of the world's hottest female flesh.
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007)
STUDIO: Buena Vista
NUDES:Agathe de La Fontaine (right breast) (Picture: 1), Marina Hands (left breast) (Picture: 1), Marie Meyer (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: Acclaimed director Julian Schnabel's third film, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly tells the true story of Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby (Mathieu Amalric), who, after a massive stroke, is almost 100 percent paralyzed. The only part of his body of which he has any control, in fact, is his left eyelid. Bauby then uses a code, through blinking, to dictate his life story, letter by letter, which the movie brings to life in a series of visually mesmerizing set pieces. On the topic of pieces . . . of ass, Marina Hands, Marie Meyer, and Agathe de La Fontaine ease Bauby's plight by taking off their fancy French frocks.
Hitch Hike (1977)
STUDIO: Anchor Bay
NUDES:Corinne Clery (FFN) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY:Corinne Clery and her husband are on their way home from a camping trip when they pick up a hitchhiker in Hitch Hike. Their passenger turns out not only to be a bank robber but an escaped mental patient too. That's bad luck . . . for them. For viewers its an opportunity to see Corinne in all her full-frontal fineness in several scenes, one while getting banged in front of the campfire and another brandishing a shotgun and little else coming out from the camper. Yes, Hitch Hike can be a disturbing ride, but audiences who see it are happy campers.
Killing Car (1993)
STUDIO: Redemption Films
NUDE:Tiki Tsang (breasts) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Esteemed horror filmmaker Jean Rollin's Killing Car chronicles a serial-slaying female who plows a homicidal path through Paris, leaving a toy car as her calling card for police inspectors. Rollin is best known for films involving supernatural eroticism (Les Dmoniaques, The Nude Vampire), so the reality-driven Killing Car represents a departure for the esteemed director. Still, it traffics in Rollin's trademark lyricism and poetic bloodletting, along with scorching nudity courtesy of Tiki Tsang.
The New York Ripper (1982)
STUDIO: Blue-Underground.com
NUDES:Alexandra Delli Colli (FFN) (Picture: 1), Cinzia de Ponti (breasts) (Picture: 1), Daniela Doria (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Zora Kerova (FFN) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY:The New York Ripper is an electrifying, flesh-and-blood-sopped masterwork by Italian splatter maestro Lucio Fulci (Zombie, A Lizard in a Woman's Skin). Jack Hedley stars as a frazzled NYPD detective who's on the trail of a killer who taunts him via phone calls made in a Donald Duck voice. Between quacks, the villain rips gorgeous women to scarlet smithereens in scenes of elegantly executed, robustly repulsive violence. While the bodies pile up, we're also treated to enough knockout female nudity to convince viewers that there really are eight million stories in the naked city. New York Ripper is trip, sir.
Nightmare City (1980)
STUDIO: Anchor Bay
NUDES:Maria Rosaria Omaggio (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY:Nightmare City is a terrifying fever dream concocted by Italian gore maven Umberto Lenzi (Cannibal ferox, Hitcher in the Dark) that rewrites the rules of zombie movies to disgustingly awesome effect. Hugo Stiglitz stars as ace reporter Dean Miller. We first see him at an airport, waiting for a plane to land. When the gates open, the passengers flood outbut exposure to radiation has transformed them into blood-thirsty ghouls who use knives, guns, and teeth to tear apart anythingand anyonein their way! Eventually the flesh eaters aim to take over the entire city. Resistance comes from Miller, military veteran Commander Holmes (Mel Ferrer), and the hot, topless Mrs. Holmes (Maria Rosaria Omaggio). Her tits are to un-die for!
Schizo (1976)
STUDIO: Redemption Films
NUDES:Lynne Frederick (breasts, bush, butt) (Picture: 1), Wendy Gilmore (breasts, bush) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY:Lynne Frederick stars in Schizo as a celebrity ice skater whose fabulous life includes media coverage of her marriage plans. Too bad that Jack Watsonconvicted of killing Lynne's motherreads the newspapers. Lynne's a neurotic mess herself, so nobody really believes her when she says she's being stalkeduntil, that is, the body count starts going up. This all adds up to a fun and creative thriller from cult Brit director Pete Walker. There's also some audience participation, since your dick will go schizoid trying to choose between Lynne and Wendy Gilmore as her doomed mom. 
