Siesta (1987)

You can have a good fap, then take a long nap after watching Siesta (1987). Critics might not have liked it, and the director (Mary Lambert) might have ended up doing stuff like Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011) when it didn't hit it big at the box office, but the movie is far more entertaining than that would have you believe. In fact, rumors are the Material Girl herself, Madonna found the role too sexual to take, so you know it's good! Ellen Barkin is Claire, a daredevil who at one point skydives into a net dangling above a volcano. Since that's absurdly dangerous, she gets a letter from an ex-boyfriend begging her to bail on the stunt, and decides to visit her old flame in Spain before she makes the leap. But at some point she wakes up in that country, only to find that her memory is mostly gone, she's covered in what might be blood, and she has a faint recollection of murdering someone. As she travels across the Spanish countryside, she tries to piece together flashes of her life and revive her mind from its serious siesta. In the movie there are flashbacks, flash-forwards, but best of all, plenty of flashing! The fiery festival of skinage surrounding Ms. Barkin will keep you lying awake shaking with flesh flashbacks of this film for years to come! Some highlights from Ellen involve examining her bush before bathing her clothes in a dirty river, doing her dude in the moonlight, a bit of upskirt as she runs from the cops, and a shot of her naked before she tries to throw a red dress on when her room is invaded. We're barkin like horny dogs in heat after seeing all that! Thanks to Ellen Barkin playing the daredevil so amorous even Madonna wouldn't dare play her, Siesta is a sexual fiesta!