Girls in
Nightmare Sisters (1987)

Phoebe Cates’s other great ’80s teen sex comedy also

features Saw babe Betsy Russell, scream queen Brinke Stevens, and loads of sexy surprises.

If summertime 1982 served as cherry-popping Ground Zero for the decade’s teen sex comedy phenomenon—and seeing as it contained the premieres of Porky's, The Last American Virgin, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, it did—then the subsequent swelter season’s Private School (1983) was the first direct fallout. And what a gloriously radiant after-effect it is.

To be sure, a spate of raunchy teen farces did rush into theaters during the ’82-’83 school year—among them: The Beach Girls, Homework, Joysticks, Losin’ It, Goin’ All the Way, My Tutor, Pink Motel, Spring Break, (the mighty) Screwballs, and (the also mighty) Zapped!

But Private School represented Hollywood’s first full-scale attempt to concoct an all-out teen sex comedy blockbuster, calculatedly combining familiar genre tropes (nerds, jocks, nudity-producing pranks, cross-dressing one’s way into the girls’ shower room, etc.), and then adding Phoebe Cates—the naked girl from Fast Times—up on top like a beautiful, brown-nippled bow.

If You Can’t Masturbate, Decapitate!

Ah my friends, welcome back to Castle Rackula. I wasn’t expecting you this early!

You’ve caught me watching one of my old favorites, Dracula Exotica with Vanessa del Rio and my dear friend Randy West. But that actually brings me to the point of this week’s visit.

When I was a young boy in pre-Christian Mamsylvania, my friends and I used to steal the erotic etchings of Messalina getting gang-banged by the senate that the Roman soldiers carried and hide them under our straw mattresses to look at by candlelight when everyone else was asleep.

Incidentally, the real Messalina was never as hot as Anneka Di Lorenzo (AKA Marjorie Lee Thoreson) was in Caligula. But then, the real Messalina would never have sued Bob Guccione for sexual harassment.

Pornography has come a long way since the days of the Roman Empire. And today’s porn stars, while they may not have the political pull that Messalina did, do have more star power.

And sometimes they use that star power to make the jump from creamed teens to scream queens. Here are few of my favorites.

Read more after the bite.

Throughout the Month of October, Count Down the Sexiest Nude Horror Movie Hotties of All Time!

Number 3: Linnea Quigley

Ask a horror fan to name a Scream Queen, and the first name that automatically comes up, without fail, is Linnea Quigley.

She came from Davenport, Iowa, and debuted nude in the wild mockumentary Auditions, followed by a stand-out turn as Sleeping Beauty in the not-for-kiddies softcore romp Fairy Tales.

After that, Linnea stripped for the fright flick Stone Cold Dead, and in 1981 alone she appeared in the buff in Don’t Go Near the Park, Graduation Day, and Psycho From Texas. From there, a Scream Queen Supreme was born … naked.

Click the pic to read more and to see Linnea Quigley nude.

Throughout the Month of October, Count Down the Sexiest Nude Horror Movie Hotties of All Time!

Number 11: Michelle Bauer

Before the world knew her as Michelle Bauer, this slinky, native Californian brunette turned the world on as a Penthouse Pet and hardcore porn sensation Pia Snow, in X-rated classics such as Café Flesh and Bad Girls.

Then, in a series of R-rated romps including Homework, Reform School Girls, and Tomboy, she re-skin-vented herself as Michelle Bauer. With The Tomb and Nightmare Sisters, that name came to define the very breast of what a scream queen should be.

Among Michelle’s flesh-packed fright favorites are Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Spirits, Camp Fear, Evil Toons, Marie-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula, Tomb of the Werewolf, and Whispers From a Shallow Grave.

Click the pic to see more of Michelle Bauer nude.

Throughout the Month of October, Count Down the Sexiest Nude Horror Movie Hotties of All Time!

Number 14: Brinke Stevens

Brinke Stevens debuted nude in the feminist-created Slumber Party Massacre (1982) and, 29 naked film appearances later, unveiled her frighteningly sexy bare body mo(i)st recently in Zombiegeddon (2003).

San Diego-born Brinke has actually turned up (and on) in 119 (1) movies to date, with her first being the whacked-out, Bert I. Gordon-produced black-magic freak-fest Necromancy (1972), starring Orson Welles!

Now that is a body of work for a Scream Queen.

On top(less) of those skin-pressive, just consider exactly which movies showcase Brinke in the buff. Among them are: Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity, Nightmare Sisters, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, The Jigsaw Murders, Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge, Haunting Fear, Scream Queen Hot Tub Party, Teenage Exorcist, and Demon Lust.

Click the skin-itiation pic to see Brinke Stevens nude.

This past April I, Alix Lakehurst, was named Tromette of the Month. This placed me in an elite company of previous monthly Tromette honorees, as well as the women of Troma Films themselves-the original, immortal Tromettes who ignite the silver screen with searing star power and fresh, funky eroticism as unique as Troma itself.