Yeah, we've been on a bit of a heavy-metal cooking kick lately. So what? When the baker is a cool-as-shit metalhead chick like Metalcakes' Kathy Bejma, you don't ask questions. You just throw the horns. Kathy's head-banging blog Metalcakes combines her twin passions for heavy music and sweet pastries while paying witty tribute to her favorite bands like Slayer (Reign in Blood Cakes), Judas Priest (Hell Bent for Cupcakes), Cannibal Corpse (Edible Autopsy Cakes) and Skeletonwitch (who have two cupcakes named in their honor, Beyond the Permafrosting and The Infernal Resur-Reese's).
Kathy lent her creative touch to an interview with Skin Central here in Chicago, where she gave us baking tips for the long-haired set, wistfully recalls Apollonia's tits in Purple Rain (1985), and tells us, among others, what a Jane Fonda and a Joanna Angel cupcake would taste like. Anybody else getting hungry?
Skin Central: So, which came first for you, metal music or baking cupcakes? What was the inspiration for combining the two?
Metal Cakes: Technically metal was first, because when I was a crying, bratty, baby, my brother Kevin would play Judas Priest to cheer me up. Then I got really into baking a bunch of different stuff myself was I was about 12. I combined the two because I wanted to create the blog I wished was out there: One that celebrates bands I love, and has lots of good recipes. Cupcakes work really well because they're portable, easily distributed, and there's an infinite number of flavor combinations involving cake, frosting, fillings, and toppings.
SC: Cupcakes: they look kind of like boobs, especially with a cherry on top. True or false?
MC: Absolutely true!! Is that where the phrase "Givin' Up The Cakes" comes from?
SC: Haha I guess so! Some of the recipes you've come up with for Metalcakes are so creative and fun! Do you think you could turn other stuff into cupcakes….for example…are there any actresses you'd like to turn into cupcakes? What would their flavors be?
MC: Jane Fondant Cupcakes (Jane Fonda)
I'm pretty anti-fondant, but the one exception I'd make is for the creation of these cakes. I've heard rumors that the fondant used most often in Europe is much better than what we use here, so I'd use this cupcake as a motivation to find a decent fondant recipe.
Pie-za Minelli (Liza Minelli)
Okay... So technically this wouldn't be a cupcake. But I could bake little pie crusts in a cupcake tin, and make mini pie-zas. A Blackberry Cherry filling would work nicely.
Joanna Angel-Food Cakes (Joanna Angel)
Painfully obvious? Still... They would be quite delicious. I'd eat them.
SC: I bet Joanna Angel has a tattoo of a cupcake somewhere. How about movies?
Springwood's Secret Cakes: Coffee Cupcakes with Red Bull frosting to help you stay awake...and alive.
In honor of Divine's famous scene- Pink Dog Shit Cakes. Strawberry cupcakes with a few Tootsie Rolls in the middle and a plastic flamingo on top. When the cops come to break up your Birthday party, kill and eat them- but save room for cake!!
Peanut Butter cakes filled with gummy worms and topped off with lots of sanding sugar. You won't need an elephant gun or homemade explosives to beat these monsters(I think they're officially called Graboids) [they are! -SC], just a healthy appetite.
SC: What was the first TV/movie nude scene you ever saw?
SC: As far as you know, has your blog gotten any long-haired metal dudes to try baking for the first time or vice-versa? That would rule.
MC: Cosmo Lee (the former mastermind behind metal blog Invisible Oranges) baked up some Sepultura: Beneath The Cookies and Cremains. He doesn't have long hair, but he is a full-fledged Metalhead, that has more than paid his dues. I'm not sure that it was his first time baking, but I'm pretty sure he really doesn't bake very often. Needless to say, I was super excited that his cupcakes turned out so awesome!
And on the flip side, my knitting instructor baked a batch of Celtic Frost cupcakes for a tea party one time. I can't say that she's really into Celtic Frost now, but hopefully she at least listened to Morbid Tales while she was baking.
My advice for any long-haired Metalhead doing any baking: Pull your hair back! They really don't show enough people pulling their hair back on cooking and baking shows these days. It's gross.
If you're hungry for more Kathy, get your sugar fix at her Metal Cakes blog and hey, while you're at it, why not try your hand at making some Pastry of the Beast yourself? Just remember to tie your hair back first.