Little Women

This 1978 TV movie is one of many to be based on Louisa May Alcott's classic novel about four sisters growing up in Civil War New England. Jo, the tomboyish sister who wants to be a writer, recounts the sorrows and joys of growing into womanhood with her sisters Meg, Amy, and Beth. If you’re an average guy, let us shorten the plot synopsis to “Blah blah blah, who gives a shit. Does anybody from it get naked?” Well Sparky, as a matter of fact they do. Co-star, Ann Dusenberry is a blonde beauty who shows us her not-so-little Wigwams in Basic Training and The Men’s Club. The heavenly post-coital view of her panting, sweat-slicked shebas in Men’s Club would surely make Louisa May Alcott blush from the grave. Likewise, the prim and proper character of Jo March would doubtless be mortified knowing she was portrayed by Jessica Harper, a skinny little brunette who showed us her perky itty bits in Inserts, which starred Richard Dreyfuss as a once-great silent film director who secludes himself in his home and makes silent skin flicks. Speaking of “inserts,” isn’t sound in a porno movie a little like silicone breast implants? Neither of them are really necessary, but they certainly don’t hurt the overall package. One other thing to note for trivia geeks: this version of Little Women featured both William Shatner and John De Lancie, two mediocre actors who would go on to milk the Star Trek franchise drier than a seventy-eight year old wet nurse’s teat in their roles as Captain James T. Kirk and the omnipotent “Q,” respectively.