Lia Beldam Nude

Spectral Sacks, Ghostly Glutes, and Phantom Furburger

Hello my friends, and welcome back to Castle Rackula. That clinking of chains you hear upstairs is just something I have going with a couple of girls off of Craigslist, but the sound does put me in mind of those least substantial of supernatural species: ghosts.

Ghosts have a reputation for being depressive, gloomy, self-pitying, and no fun to be around. Having suffered through several extremely long dinner parties down in Knoxville with the Bell Witch and the pre-deceased Jim Varney (who was a delight, unlike his translucent ancestor), I can attest that that reputation is well earned.

But who can blame them? Unlike us vampires, who get to keep their bodies in perfect shape for all of eternity, the physical presence of ghosts is generally reduced to an unappealing and intangible blur.

But sometimes, the movies give us an improved version of reality. These ten movies contain naked specters who would turn Bill Murray and Harold Ramis from Ghostbusters into ghost-lusters!

Read more after the bite!

Aside from being Earth Day, today also happens to be the birthday of some of the Earth's most notable skin-habitants. Some of them, like V.I. Lenin (father of the Soviet Union), J. Robert Oppenheimer (father of the atomic bomb) and Flora Disney (mother of Walt Disney) are important because of the newsworthy place they occupy in history. Other are significant for reasons that are far more nudes-worthy. Here are my six skinstant celebrity birthdays for today.

Marilyn Chambers went from being the smiling woman on the cover of the Ivory Soap box to getting a face full of soapy scum in the seminal seventies porno flick Behind the Green Door (1972). Five years later, Chambers appeared in Canadian sci-fi auteur David Cronenberg's vampire flick Rabid (1977), where she sucks down a different type of body fluid.

Baltimore's favorite son John Waters' early work, especially his undisputed masterpiece Pink Flamingos (1972), was enormously influential in the development of underground cinema, midnight movie culture, and generally bad taste in entertainment. Waters shocked the world in the 90s when he came out as a gay man and today he continues to make twisted movies. And I love him for it.

Chicago native Jack Nitzsche died in 2000, but not before filling out an incredibly impressive resume. He famously worked and had subsequent falling-outs with Phil Spector and Neil Young in the 60s and 70s, but I especially appreciate the soundtracks he produced for skinematic classics like Performance (1970), Hardcore (1979), Cruising (1980) Personal Best (1982), 9 ½ Weeks (1986) and The Hot Spot (1990). Jack, we need you back!

One of Hollywood's most enduring talents, Jack Nicholson's career is the stuff of legend. But if anyone needs a reminder why we all a debt of gratitude to the 71-year old Lakers fanatic who famously banged Lara Flynn Boyle from 1999 to 2001, here are a few: He made out with a naked Lia Beldam before she turned into a naked Billie Gibson in The Shining (1980); he plowed his face into Jessica Lange's muff in The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981); and he got into a hot tub with a bare Kathy Bates in About Schmidt (2002).

Recording and TV star Glen Campbell produced a string of hits, including "Gentle On My Mind," "Wichita Lineman," "By the Time I Get to Phoenix." But it was "Rhinestone Cowboy" that inspired Porky's director Bob Clark's 1984 flop Rhinestone starring Sylvester Stallone and country star/act-chest Dolly Parton.

50s fetish and pin-up model Bettie Page's recent resurgence in popularity has made her rack, rump and distinctive haircut nearly ubiquitous. She has even inspired a film about her life called The Notorious Bettie Page (2005). Still, despite all the imitators, there's only one fetish model that really makes the pages stick together.

Aaron Spelling is a man who built a TV production dynasty like no other. He is also the man, perhaps not coincidentally, who produced Dynasty. Spelling's many series credits include Beverly Hills, 90210, Models Inc., Melrose Place, and that "Jiggle TV" classic Charlie's Angels. We lost Spelling in 2006, but he will always have a place of honor in the hallowed halls of skinstory.