Kathy Bates Nude

Mr Skin’s Skintastic Summer Movie Guide 2009

Where to see Hollywood’s blockbuster girls of summer without their swimsuits on.

As Memorial Day looms with beach openings, first-of-the-season barbecues, and long-awaited hot weather, so too do Hollywood’s biggest, loudest, most slam-bangingly awesome summer movie blockbusters.

And, just like everyone else, Mr Skin can hardly wait.

Each year, it seems as though the studios unleash their top-ticket titles earlier than ever. So far in 2009 we’ve already seen Star Trek, Angels & Demons, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But the best and the barest still lie ahead.

Join Mr Skin now for a unique spin on a typical summer movie guide.

Most media outlets will tell you what films are coming out, who spent how much on what, and how much stuff gets blown up in spectacular fashion.

But Mr Skin casts his expert eye on the stunning starlets of 2009’s summer movies, pointing out who gets nude in which titles and, in case they’re keeping covered or more skinvestigation is necessary, where to find each sexy celebrity nude in previous releases.

Mr Skin’s Skintastic Summer Movie Guide 2009 is your go-to resource not only to see what’s playing over the course of the swelter months, but where to find the really hot stuff—namely, Jessica Biel nude, Amy Adams nude, Katherine Heigl nude, Maggie Gyllenhaal nude, Evan Rachel Wood nude, Rachel McAdams nude, Milla Jovovich nude, Alison Lohman nude, Penélope Cruz nude, and all other 2009 summer movie celebs nude.

Surf’s up and bikinis are off! Now let Mr Skin be your guide!

Aside from being Earth Day, today also happens to be the birthday of some of the Earth's most notable skin-habitants. Some of them, like V.I. Lenin (father of the Soviet Union), J. Robert Oppenheimer (father of the atomic bomb) and Flora Disney (mother of Walt Disney) are important because of the newsworthy place they occupy in history. Other are significant for reasons that are far more nudes-worthy. Here are my six skinstant celebrity birthdays for today.

Marilyn Chambers went from being the smiling woman on the cover of the Ivory Soap box to getting a face full of soapy scum in the seminal seventies porno flick Behind the Green Door (1972). Five years later, Chambers appeared in Canadian sci-fi auteur David Cronenberg's vampire flick Rabid (1977), where she sucks down a different type of body fluid.

Baltimore's favorite son John Waters' early work, especially his undisputed masterpiece Pink Flamingos (1972), was enormously influential in the development of underground cinema, midnight movie culture, and generally bad taste in entertainment. Waters shocked the world in the 90s when he came out as a gay man and today he continues to make twisted movies. And I love him for it.

Chicago native Jack Nitzsche died in 2000, but not before filling out an incredibly impressive resume. He famously worked and had subsequent falling-outs with Phil Spector and Neil Young in the 60s and 70s, but I especially appreciate the soundtracks he produced for skinematic classics like Performance (1970), Hardcore (1979), Cruising (1980) Personal Best (1982), 9 ½ Weeks (1986) and The Hot Spot (1990). Jack, we need you back!

One of Hollywood's most enduring talents, Jack Nicholson's career is the stuff of legend. But if anyone needs a reminder why we all a debt of gratitude to the 71-year old Lakers fanatic who famously banged Lara Flynn Boyle from 1999 to 2001, here are a few: He made out with a naked Lia Beldam before she turned into a naked Billie Gibson in The Shining (1980); he plowed his face into Jessica Lange's muff in The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981); and he got into a hot tub with a bare Kathy Bates in About Schmidt (2002).

Recording and TV star Glen Campbell produced a string of hits, including "Gentle On My Mind," "Wichita Lineman," "By the Time I Get to Phoenix." But it was "Rhinestone Cowboy" that inspired Porky's director Bob Clark's 1984 flop Rhinestone starring Sylvester Stallone and country star/act-chest Dolly Parton.

50s fetish and pin-up model Bettie Page's recent resurgence in popularity has made her rack, rump and distinctive haircut nearly ubiquitous. She has even inspired a film about her life called The Notorious Bettie Page (2005). Still, despite all the imitators, there's only one fetish model that really makes the pages stick together.

Aaron Spelling is a man who built a TV production dynasty like no other. He is also the man, perhaps not coincidentally, who produced Dynasty. Spelling's many series credits include Beverly Hills, 90210, Models Inc., Melrose Place, and that "Jiggle TV" classic Charlie's Angels. We lost Spelling in 2006, but he will always have a place of honor in the hallowed halls of skinstory.

This morning, I read in the New York Post's Page Six that Paper magazine has released a list of the Top Ten Worst Nude Scenes of All Time. This comes a mere week after the launch of my ninth annual Anatomy Awards and obviously, at Skin Central, there is no such thing as a bad nude scene, so my skinterest was definitely piqued. The bit read:

Philip Seymour Hoffman's ample butt just won a dubious award - as star of one of the "10 Worst Nude Film Scenes" of all time. Paper magazine's Dennis Dermody, who compiled the list, says ever since Hoffman lay naked with Marisa Tomei in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, the image of "his big, bare flabby ass [is] branded on my brain." Patrick Dempsey is feted for his full-frontal turn in Some Girls, which "won't make you think McDreamy, but rather McTeeny." Fox NFL Sunday co-host Terry Bradshaw gets a nod for a "frightening" scene in which he feeds his aquarium fish while buck-naked and listening to hip-hop in Failure To Launch. Donald Sutherland can take a bow for letting it all hang out as a test pilot undergoing a physical in Space Cowboys, proving he has "the Wrong Stuff," Dermody says. Kathy Bates gets a tip of the hat for At Play in the Fields of the Lord, in which she "covers her body with mud and runs around the jungle." And Julie Andrews isn't forgotten for whipping off her top in S.O.B.

While most of the scenes Paper mentions involve men-and sausage has no place in a skin smorgasbord-I think it's an outrage that anyone would be complaining about an actress getting naked on film. Though I was pretty surprised to learn that Philip Seymour Hoffman was even IN Before the Devil Knows You're Dead-I was too busy staring open-mouthed at nude Marisa Tomei. And how can Mary Poppins nudity ever be bad? Her S.O.B. scene is a classic. Her "mounds of music" make my lap sing!

Sounds to me like this Dennis Dermody is an S.O.B. himself-a Slanderer Of Boobs!