In a new piece, the British pop culture website What Culture decided to take aim at television programs it says "rely too much on nudity." As any avid reader of this site knows, this is an asinine statement akin to saying that humans rely too much on oxygen. Nevertheless, let's take a look at their points, and courteously dismantle their argument.


King

10. The Tudors

What they said: "Frequently accused of being gratuitous, soap opera tosh, The Tudors may have relied too heavily on nudity but it knew what it was and wasn’t afraid to show it. All of it."

What we say: Not sure what the issue is here. The show clearly never presented itself as historically accurate and this is acknowledged in the piece.


Condon

9. Rome

What they said: Rather surprisingly, it was the BBC that grand old institution of integrity and propriety that opted to re-edit the show’s first three episodes into two in a move director Michael Apted called out as a blatant attempt to boost ratings by amplifying the sexual content and violence.

What we say: Again, what's the problem here?


CaitlinFitzGerald

8. Masters of Sex

What they said: Masters of Sex has rightly received a wealth of critical praise for its strong writing and outstanding performances, but rather predictably the show has generated more headlines due to its saucy scenes.

What we say: Surprisingly, the author failed to mention that the show has actually generated more headlines about how historically inaccurate it is...


Shameless

7. Shameless

What they said: Nonetheless, Shameless is a warts-and-all show with an equal opportunities policy when it comes to racy content. Not that it’s shocking for shocking’s sake the nude scenes are mostly used in the name of comedy. Apparently.

What we say: They're criticizing the show for utilizing nudity in a way they don't necessarily agree with as opposed to arguing that it relies on the nudity.


EvaAmurri

6. Californication

What they said: A show revolving around sex addiction? Yep, pretty likely to show up on any list about TV shows heavy on nudity, although few of Californication’s rivals have come in for quite as much criticism as a result.

What we say: They're more or less deflating their own argument here, admitting that the show is about sex addiction, then saying it relies too much on sex and nudity.


Schilling

5. Orange is the New Black

What they said: Would the admittedly fairly common nudity in the show have attracted so much interest if it didn’t involve, for want of a better phrase, girl-on-girl action? We’ll never know, but some viewers have found the lesbian scenes to be on the gratuitous side, and in that OITNB opened with a revealing shower scene, you can understand why they feel that way.

What we say: They're doing a classic deflection here, too afraid to just admit that they're offended by all the hot lesbian action and placing the onus on "some viewers."


Appleby

4. Girls

What they said: On the one hand, (creator and star Lena) Dunham has been applauded for her candid approach and pride in her ‘normal’ body, but it’s also led to her being subjected to criticism bordering on abuse and accusations that she plays the nudey card too often.

What we say: Hey, this is the show that brought us Shiri Appleby's nude debut. It may not be to everyone's liking, but at the end of the day, if that's all it brought us, that's plenty.


Caplan

3. True Blood

What they said: However, one constant throughout True Blood’s seven seasons is a nudity quotient to rival almost any show yet seen. This shouldn’t really come as a surprise the vampire has been a sexual allegory for centuries but some viewers have found it difficult to contain their shock.

What we say: Here's the old deflection again. The author of this article should just come out and say it. He's offended by breasts.


Carice

2. Game of Thrones

What they said: Does the show rely too heavily on nudity? Perhaps, but neuter Game of Thrones, Theon-style, and what you’re left with is “a medieval European castle documentary” as one miffed Chinese viewer put it. Well said.

What we say: Okay, we smell a reversal coming on. It's clear his will has been broken at this point.


Spartacus

1. Spartacus

What they said: Rendering any attempt at a porn parody utterly pointless, Spartacus remains the undisputed champ of TV nudity, because sometimes grotesque, extreme violence simply isn’t enough.

What we say: Um, do your research dude...