The first week of 2011 brings with a crop of DVD and Blu-ray releases ranging from TV box sets to reissues of cult classics on Blu-ray, to abog-budget Hollywood throwback movie that promised Lindsay Lohan but delivered a body double, Robert Rodriguez's rackatastic retro revenge flick Machete.

But we'll still tell you where all the skin is.




Machete

Nude on DVD and Blu-ray, TA-listers Nude on DVD Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, and Michelle Rodriguez star in Machete. Jessica and Michelle keep their good parts covered and Lindsay uses a body double for her topless threesome with Alicia Rachel Marek 55 minutes in. But in the next scene, we do get a partial look at Lindsay's lo-mams through her hair when she wakes up naked. And costar Mayra Leal picks us the slack with rack and crack, showing awesome TA three minutes into the movie. But a body double, Lindsay? That's ma-shitty.

El Mariachi/Desperado

Also nude on DVD, the skinsational Salma Hayek stars in another Robert Rodriguez flick, Desperado, paired on a Blu-ray double feature with his previous film El Mariachi. If you're desperate-o to see dairybombs, fast forward to the one hour, eleven minute mark when Salma shows sacks and seat meat getting nailed by Antonio Banderas. That will have you beating your piata, hombre!

Big Love Season 4

And finally, it's season four of the skin-filled HBO polygamy drama Big Love. Compared to the first three, this season has less of the stuff that puts the big love in your pants, but episode 38 does give us a look at costar Amanda Seyfried's bare butt as she gets out of bed and slides on some boxers like a good Mormon wife. If only we could see her Salt Lake Titties.