Mr. Skin's Pick of the Week

The Toolbox Murders (1978)Blu-ray
STUDIO: Blue Underground
NUDE: Marciee Drake (breasts), Kelly Nichols (FFN, butt)
Set in a miserable apartment complex full of miserable people, The Toolbox Murders (1978) stars Cameron Mitchell as a distraught dad avenging his daughter’s death at the hands of a drunk driver by . . . well, killing gorgeous gals with assorted power tools. There’s gotta be some logic in there somewhere. This sleazy classic is actually full of great performances and some stylistic verve. There are also some very bright and shiny femme victims. You’ll be hauling out your hammer while Marciee Drake gets out of a wet T-shirt. Future ’80s porn star Kelly Nicholsbilled here as “Marianne Walter”also proves her potential with a pre-massacre masturbation scene set in her soapy bathtub. It’ll make any man want to be a plumber’s helper!

Action Man Collection: Peking Blonde (1967)
STUDIO: VCI
NUDE: Mireille Darc (butt)
Little Caesar meets James Bond in Peking Blonde (1967). Smack dab in the middle of the swinging '60s, government agent Edward G. Robinson is on a quest to dip his dong in every piece from Europe to Hong Kong while in search of a priceless stolen jewel known as “The Blue Grape”. For your pleasure, the real treasure on the scene is blonde beauty Mireille Darc, who doesn’t even try to keep you from Peking at her statuesque bronze buns.

Drive-In Grindhouse Collection: Summer School (1978)
STUDIO: VCI
NUDE: Verkina Flower (breasts, butt), Phoebe Schmidt (breasts)
Mag Wheels (1978), also known as Summer School, is a high-school drama where the girls are mature and the boys aren't. Those girls include Shelly Horner, who is skingy, but one can understand her hesitation in making her scene too titillating. Verkina Flower and Phoebe Schmidt, however, are a different story. Verkina’s flowers don't bloom, but her butt can't seem to stay in her bikini bottom as she plays in the surf. Meanwhile, Phoebe lets her guy play with her Schmidts. Those are some mag wheels. You'll want to take a ride.

Fame (1980)Blu-ray
STUDIO: Warner Bros.
NUDE: Irene Cara (breasts), Nora Catrone (breasts)
Fame (1980) follows the lives of four students at the New York City High School for the Performing Arts. They're all training to be actors, singers, dancers, or musicians. That's right, they're show people . . . and they do show. Irene Cara learns about the hard knocks of the business when she has to expose her hard knockers to get a part. There's also a scene backstage where Nora Catrone is caught without her shirt on but quickly covers up her small wonders with a shocked yet happy smile on her face. All the other kids are usually prancing around in leotards, including tall drink of water Antonia Franceschi, who's red hot in a starched white bra. In Fame, they may not live forever, but audiences' private dancers will learn how to fly.

Frontier of the Dawn (2008)
STUDIO: IFC
NUDE: Clementine Poidatz (breasts)
Nominated for a Golden Palm at Cannes, the dark French drama Frontier of the Dawn (2008) stars Laura Smet as Carole, a married actress who begins an affair with a young photographer named Franois (played by the director’s son Louis Garrel) only to have to break it off after her husband discovers them. Unable to recover, Carole slowly begins to lose her mind until she is finally driven to suicide, while Franois finds consolation with Eve (Clmentine Poidatz). The movie may be a downer, but no one told that to Clmentine’s nipples, which stick straight up as she lies in bed with her boyfriend.

Give 'Em Hell, Malone (2009)Blu-ray
STUDIO: National Entertainment Media
NUDE: Elsa Pataky (butt)
With a name like Give 'Em Hell, Malone (2009), you almost don't need a plot description to know what you're getting into. Add to that title gruff-voiced Thomas Jane as a hard-boiled alcoholic P.I. with a chip on his shoulder and Elsa Pataky as a beautiful broad who brings nothing but trouble wherever she goes, and you know you're getting a modern-day take on classic characters like Dashiell Hammett's Sam Spade. Luckily a manly dose of whiskey isn't all Malone's drinking in; Jane gets a good look at Pataky's patooty as she takes a shower.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009)
STUDIO: Fox
NUDE: Bridget Powers (breasts), Puma Swede (breasts), Yvette Yates (breasts)
Based on Tucker Max's best-selling “fratire,” I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009) stars Matt Czuchry as the author and dramatizes the seemingly non-stop drinking, partying, and womanizing that is his life. As Tucker’s exploits unfold, we are treated to glimpses of a handful of scantily clad dancers and a topless Yvette Yates as a deaf woman whose screams of passion during sex bring the police to her house. Busty porn star Puma Swede shows off her 32F boobs as a topless stripper. Forget Tucker Max, you’ll want to fuck 'er rack!

Import/Export (2007)
STUDIO: Palisades Tartan
NUDE: Ekateryna Rak (left breast, bush, butt), Anastasia Sergeyeva (FFN, butt)
The Austrian film Import/Export (2007) follows two people who leave their homes in search of money and stability. Olga (Ekateryna Rak) flees the Ukraine for Austria when her job as a nurse (and her side gig in Internet porn) doesn't rake in enough dough to support herself and her child. Pauli (Paul Hofmann) goes the other direction, heading to the Ukraine from Austria on a job with his stepfather. Along the way, Pauli's near-dad picks up a hooker (Anastasia Sergeyeva), who shows her entire nude body in a hotel room.

Little Ashes (2008)
STUDIO: E1 Entertainment
NUDE: Marina Gatell (breasts, bush, butt)
Little Ashes (2008) chronicles the intense friendship of three budding artists, painter Salvador Dal (Robert Pattinson), poet Federico Garca Lorca (Javier Beltran), and filmmaker Luis Buuel (Matthew McNulty) when they meet at a Spanish university. As they grow into their individual disciplines, Dal and Lorca become obsessively close, alienating Buuel. You may think that only teenage girls and middle-aged vampire lovers see the appeal in Twilight star Robert Pattinson, but he proves that no one can resist his charms when his onscreen relationship with Lorca turns physical. Lorca even turns away from the naked delights of Spanish siren Marina Gatell in favor of RPattz's pud.

On the Line (1984)
STUDIO: Vanguard
NUDE: Victoria Abril (FFN, butt)
What happens when an American border cop falls in love with a Mexican prostitute besides having to pay for his pleasure in pesos? The Spanish film On the Line (1984) explores the complications of not being able to bring your woman home with you because she's an illegal alien. Add to this a second narrative about two border cops, one an evil racist and the other a humanitarian who smuggles Mexicans across the border, and you get a B-movie with pretensions. But as long as the B-movie delivers the B’s, as in boobs, butt, and bush, who cares about a little preaching? The hooker is played by Spanish superstar Victoria Abril, who really becomes her character in two skinful sex scenes. The first exposes her three B’s, the second only her TA, but that works too.

Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrogate (1986)
STUDIO: Zeitgeist
NUDE: Maureen Sullivan (FFN, butt)
The skin-filled documentary Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrogate (1986) profiles selfless psychotherapist and candidate for sainthood Maureen Sullivan, who is a professional sex partner for men who are having problems with intimacy. In the dark ages before Viagra, Cialis, and Craigslist, men like 25-year-old virgin Kipper and 45-year-old divorced dad John had no way to resolve their issues and turned to women like Maureen to walk them through the process at an hourly rate. We get to see Maureen’s privates in practice repeatedly as she does her naked ministrations. You’ll need a prescription for Kleenex.

Quiet Chaos (2008)
STUDIO: IFC
NUDE: Isabella Ferrari (breasts)
Based on a novel by Sandro Veronesi, the Italian-French drama Quiet Chaos (2008) stars Nanni Moretti as Pietro, a businessman who saves two women from drowning only to return home and find his own wife dead. Left to care for his daughter, Claudia (Blu Di Martino), Pietro decides to spend each day sitting in the caf across from her school until she gets out of class. Things aren’t so quiet on the skin front, and Italian babe Isabella Ferrari lightens the proceedings by baring boobs as the woman who nearly drowns. Not likely with those chest buoys!

Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball (2010)Blu-ray
STUDIO: Universal
NUDE: Heather Vandeven (breasts, bush, butt)
Smokin' Aces (2006) boasted an ensemble cast featuring stars like Jeremy Piven, Ben Affleck, and Ray Liotta. The prequel Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball (2010) may not pack as many big-ticket names, but it matches the original in sexiness. Tom Berenger is an FBI agent with a desk job, but he's targeted for elimination anyway. Soon a flood of foul-tempered assassins is on his tail trying to rake in the bounty on his head. Along the way we get sexy thong and side boob shots from Autumn Reeser, and porn star Heather Vandeven shows up full frontal in a porno mag. Now that's smokin'!