Dolly Parton Sexy

Yeeee-hawt! Jessica Simpson Goes Country!

You'd never think country music would have you fiddling with yourself. But that's before top-heavy pop tartlet Jessica Simpson turned her back on her pop music roots and embraced country.

On Saturday night, Simpson made her very first appearance at the legendary Grand Ole Opry, and it was the greatest show of a gorgeous blonde with ten gallon ta-tas since the last time Dolly Parton performed there.

To see video of Jessica's near nip slip, click through past the jump.

Aside from being Earth Day, today also happens to be the birthday of some of the Earth's most notable skin-habitants. Some of them, like V.I. Lenin (father of the Soviet Union), J. Robert Oppenheimer (father of the atomic bomb) and Flora Disney (mother of Walt Disney) are important because of the newsworthy place they occupy in history. Other are significant for reasons that are far more nudes-worthy. Here are my six skinstant celebrity birthdays for today.

Marilyn Chambers went from being the smiling woman on the cover of the Ivory Soap box to getting a face full of soapy scum in the seminal seventies porno flick Behind the Green Door (1972). Five years later, Chambers appeared in Canadian sci-fi auteur David Cronenberg's vampire flick Rabid (1977), where she sucks down a different type of body fluid.

Baltimore's favorite son John Waters' early work, especially his undisputed masterpiece Pink Flamingos (1972), was enormously influential in the development of underground cinema, midnight movie culture, and generally bad taste in entertainment. Waters shocked the world in the 90s when he came out as a gay man and today he continues to make twisted movies. And I love him for it.

Chicago native Jack Nitzsche died in 2000, but not before filling out an incredibly impressive resume. He famously worked and had subsequent falling-outs with Phil Spector and Neil Young in the 60s and 70s, but I especially appreciate the soundtracks he produced for skinematic classics like Performance (1970), Hardcore (1979), Cruising (1980) Personal Best (1982), 9 ½ Weeks (1986) and The Hot Spot (1990). Jack, we need you back!

One of Hollywood's most enduring talents, Jack Nicholson's career is the stuff of legend. But if anyone needs a reminder why we all a debt of gratitude to the 71-year old Lakers fanatic who famously banged Lara Flynn Boyle from 1999 to 2001, here are a few: He made out with a naked Lia Beldam before she turned into a naked Billie Gibson in The Shining (1980); he plowed his face into Jessica Lange's muff in The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981); and he got into a hot tub with a bare Kathy Bates in About Schmidt (2002).

Recording and TV star Glen Campbell produced a string of hits, including "Gentle On My Mind," "Wichita Lineman," "By the Time I Get to Phoenix." But it was "Rhinestone Cowboy" that inspired Porky's director Bob Clark's 1984 flop Rhinestone starring Sylvester Stallone and country star/act-chest Dolly Parton.

50s fetish and pin-up model Bettie Page's recent resurgence in popularity has made her rack, rump and distinctive haircut nearly ubiquitous. She has even inspired a film about her life called The Notorious Bettie Page (2005). Still, despite all the imitators, there's only one fetish model that really makes the pages stick together.

Aaron Spelling is a man who built a TV production dynasty like no other. He is also the man, perhaps not coincidentally, who produced Dynasty. Spelling's many series credits include Beverly Hills, 90210, Models Inc., Melrose Place, and that "Jiggle TV" classic Charlie's Angels. We lost Spelling in 2006, but he will always have a place of honor in the hallowed halls of skinstory.

Since The O.C. premiered in 2003, I have been following Mischa Barton's career, waiting for her to unveil what we all knew must be a spectacular set of sacks and one succulent slice of seat-meat. Now that clips from her upcoming movie Closing the Ring (2007) have been posted to the web, my skin-spectations have been exceeded. In the clip, taken from a Spanish-language trailer, we first we spy Mischa's ripe rump as the camera follows some guy into a room to see her facing the other way. Then Barton bares her boobs as she turns toward us, displaying a perfectly separated pair of b-cups with pink nips the size of 50-cent pieces. She's not Dolly Parton , she's Mischa Barton! Mischa is also to be topless in another upcoming film, Assassination of a High School President (2008). Hopefully, the best of the breast is yet to come!