Die Braut (1999)

For those who slept through high school English, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe is one of the greatest writers that Germany or the world has ever produced. If you’re still sleeping, check out Veronica Ferres; she plays Goethe’s mistress for twenty-eight years and wife for ten of those in Die Braut (1999). How did the scribbler find the time to write his famous books with the big-breasted distraction of Veronica leering just above his quill? Forget writer’s block; this is writer’s erection! If that’s not enough, mini-mammed Fritzi Haberlandt adds variety, and suddenly the life of a bookworm seems tempting to the pants worms.