Cross My Heart (1987)

Consenting adults agree that the third date is the charm. If humanity’s most hydraulic action does not occur on or before this meeting, rarely is any need seen for round four. In Armyan Bernstein’s romantic comedy Cross My Heart (1987), a pair of mutually attracted dalliers is preparing for the do or die night. Expectations and anxieties both run high, with misgivings taking the lead due to an unfortunate tendency of both the male and the female prospect to enhance their first impressions with minor but crucial lies. Will David Morgan (Martin Short) go through with the deed once he discovers that Kathy (Annette O’Toole) is a chain-smoker with a kid? For the chick’s part, will her desire take a flier when her dinner companion is revealed to be an unemployed bum? Needless to say, in order to happily thrust, the two must first learn to trust. Nevertheless, sensual shenanigans follow suit as we enjoy views of Ms. O’Toole’s birthday suit! Considering how gorgeous she is, it’s no surprise David only has eyes (and another part of his anatomy) for Kathy. Mr. Skin feels the same — especially after ogling Annette’s bra-clad cans on camera. When she’s not flaunting her figure in a pink brassiere, the curvaceous babe is baring her breasts, bush and butt in bed! Despite the generous amount of skin on display, this racy romp failed to wow critics or perform well at the box office. But at least it sparked a lot of interest in the Spank Bank!