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“Bubble Gum Day began in 2006,” explains Days of the Year.com, “when children’s book author Ruth Spiro of Bubble-Gum Artist fame decided that the world needed a day focused around education, philanthropy and best of all, bubble gum.”
And why February 3rd? As best as Sleuth can figure, it might be because it falls on 1 day, in month number 2, on day 34 of the year. To help children just beginning to learn, what could be simpler than 1, 2, 3, 4?
In Part One we revealed that Chiclets was the first popular brand of gum in America—‘On Everybody’s Tongue’ was its suggestive slogan—and it remained the lingual leader through World War II when the Topps Company of Brooklyn capitalized on the patriotic fervor for returning troops by marketing a flag-shaped brand in red, white and blue packaging with the battle-tested name of Bazooka.
In 1953, since the gum was too small to accompany its baseball cards, Topps introduced little comic strips featuring the character ‘Bazooka Joe’ {as in G.I. Joe} and his troops. But why did Bazooka Joe have an eyepatch? “I never asked,” says the strip’s foremost gag writer Jay Lynch. “I always assumed it was a terrible bubble gum accident.”
The comics were often slyly suggestive … and featured Joe’s wholesome girlfriend Jane and the busty, black bra strap-showing bombshell Zena.
Is Sleuth alone in wondering how Mort managed to chew the gum through that turtleneck sweater?
Interestingly, the original artist for the Bazooka Joe comics was cartoonist Wesley Morse—who had earlier drawn most of the pornographic images for the infamous, underground 8-page comics known as Tijuana Bibles so popular in the pre-war period! Note the unmistakable similarity in noses, hands and hair … as Betty asks Archie if her ‘vag’ is better than rival Veronica’s.
Which brings us to the musical bonus of bubble gum—scientists are adam•ant that chewing it helps fans forget those oft-played tunes “you just can’t get out of your head. Known as an earworm,” the Daily Mail reported in April 2015, “researchers have now found that chewing gum after hearing a catchy song will help you think about it less often. And the results suggest the same technique could stop other intrusive thoughts.”
No such luck likely with the current teen anthem, released two weeks ago by 14-year-old Brooke Liz and titled Bubblegum.
And despite the former Macy’s model’s tender age, her record label wasn’t subtle about the “face gum” {street slang for semen}.
No such reticence required for Marina the Diamonds, the Welsh band that had a huge hit with the hard-driving Bubblegum Bitch.
The group takes its name from buxom front woman, Marina Diamandis (above right), and the song begins: “Got a figure like a pinup … Got a figure like a doll … I’ll chew you up and I’ll spit you out …. ’Cause that’s what young love is all about … So pull me closer and kiss me hard … I’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart.”
In fact, according to the Urban Dictionary, the term ‘Bubblegum Bitch’ refers to “a girl who dates you and then pops your heart like a blast of bubble gum—and doesn’t care”
One thing Marina cares about is finding the right bra to wrap around her ample assets. “After bemoaning my blessing from ‘Da Lord’—i.e., I have big boobs,” she said after tweeting that audiences should ‘stop looking at my boobs,’ Diamandis declared: “I decided to go get a bra custom made. Turn out I have been wearing the wrong bra size for 3 years. Turns out I am a 28G (below left). Turns out that this is a real bra size” {which she hung out to dry on Instagram, below right}.
“Turns out you don’t have to be a porn star to achieve that.”
Turns out you might have to be a porn star to avail yourself of the products bursting forth to corner the gum market, however {all 100% real and readily available}.
Such as this teen-targeted ‘Blow Me’ Bubblegum Necklace—sold online at the popular Etsy marketplace:
Or if that’s too subtle for you, how about the succulent Blow Job Pecker Bubble Gum, which can be found on Amazon.com!
“BLOW JOB Pecker Shape Gum allows you to enjoy Pecker in a whole new way!” raves its manufacturer. “This great tasting bubble gum will allow you and your friends to ‘Blow’ the perfect shape bubble anytime. Anywhere!”
And anywhere you look, one can buy Sweeten’D Blow Bubble Gum Oral Pleasure Gel … Amazon’s product description assures that, “Oral Sex has never been more pleasurable! Just put it on and have your lover lick it off.”
On a slightly higher plane … on the frame … there’s Boobie Blow Gum—with two nipples in every bite-size piece.
Which brings us to Nipple Nibblers Lipbalm—whose featured flavor is Berry Bubble Gum…
… and promises, “This cool and creamy balm will have your nipples smiling and your taste buds tingling. Use on your nipples or lips, but be careful—Nipple Nibblers can be too potent for other areas of the body.”
So, since Marina of the Diamonds most often wears her favorite color—Pink—onstage, she should embrace the new Victoria’s Secret ‘Bubble Gum Pink Very Sexy Push-Up’ Bra … which is listed on its site in sizes 34E and DD.
At least it’s been reduced.
Which should help it find a home on the slimmer figures of the modeling world—where bubble gum is clearly considered a fashionable accessory …
… or the Japanese Manga comics aimed at adolescents.
No matter the bust size, it appears, blowing gum is the perfect form of selfie expression!
Just check out this video compilation of young women demonstrating their technique:
And while mam•nificent Marina Diamandis has learned that “you don’t have to be a porn star to achieve” a bubbly bust size, it would seem to help: a search of the popular XVideos.com free site for “bubble gum” clips returns a gland total of 38,024 results!
A fetish reflected in the seemingly endless string of adult DVD titles on the juicy theme. You may want to pick up Bad Seed’s line of Bubblegum Cuties …
… so refreshing they’ve made it a foursome!
And who can forget Legal Pink’s Bubble Gum Virgins—available in two parts?
“The strength of this DVD lies in the quality of the girls,” XCritic concluded in its rave review. “They’re all very young and very energetic. Fans of amateur young babes performing the nastiest of deeds {with gum and then some!} will definitely want to consider adding this to their collections.”
If it’s lesbians you like, there’s Sapphic stalwart Viv Thomas’ Bubble Gum Babes 1 and 2, with girls going to town … and going down.
There are currently 46 different adult titles showcasing babes blowing bubble gum, among other things. Two of the most popular are Zero Tolerance studio’s simply titled Bubble Gum, whose box cover promises: “Do sassy girls blowing bubbles get you horny? Don’t need to be shy about your bubble gum fetish—we’ve got all the gum-snapping, bubble-busting scenes you can handle! Cram those hot mouths full of the pink stuff and watch ’em while you blow your load!”
And as for the critically acclaimed Digital Playground feature Bubble Gum Girls (above right), its theme has earned a mention in the Urban Dictionary of slang: “Clueless teenage girls that wear canvas belts while often sporting pink hair, and usually are chewing bubble gum. These type of girls are good for a quick blow job, not much else.”
Someone who’s got a lot more to offer is raven-haired Rachelle Wilde, of whom Heavy.com gushes: “If you’re not already on board with Rachelle Wilde, that probably because you’re unfamiliar with her hosting job on Naked News {Mr. Skin’s north-of-the-border buddies}. Keep your eye on this knockout talent, you’re sure to see more of her in the future”—especially when she loses the 34D bra and signs off!
The 31-year-old Toronto native “graduated from college as a dental assistant, worked chairside for awhile, and then realized it wasn’t her calling,” explains Boobpedia. “So she made the made the move to acting and modeling” … and proved we could gawk and (she could) chew gum at the same time!
When Rachelle reported to Naked News for the last time in early 2015 … infamous ‘Library Girl’ Kendra Sunderland auditioned to fill her … gumshoes.
Arrested and charged with “public indecency” for masturbating on webcam at the crowded Oregon StateUniversity Library while blowing big bubbles with her gum …
… co-ed Kendra was interviewed on Naked News and then given a “fully naked” tryout {Well, OSU’s nickname is the Beavers}.
“I love blowing bubbles!” the 32G blonde exclaims. “My nickname in high school was actually Bubbles.”
Now doubly digital (above right), Sunderland has started a ‘sugar dating website’ and cam show platform called Play with Kendra, where customers can pay for ‘weird’ requests: “I blow bubbles,” Kendra confides. “One guy sends me huge packs of gum so he can watch me blow bubbles on camera. I think it’s sexy and cute.”
And an app’d way for ‘Library Girl’ to END this Second Part of our National Bubble Gum Day post!
The third and final segment will be here to for you to chew on shortly …
