Blossom

Blossom, or, as we like to call it around here, “The Very Special Episode Series,” debuted in 1991. It was all about Mayim Bialik and her family, which included her brothers Joey “Whoa” Lawrence and Michael Stoyanov and Big Daddy Ted Wass as a semi-dysfunctional single-parent Italian family living in an upscale neighborhood in spite of Dad’s gig as a songwriter and Stoyanov’s recurring drug problem… Jenna von Oÿ was in there, too, as Blossom’s hat-wearing, gum-snapping best friend.Every episode was “Very Special,” in case the joke at the beginning of this review weren’t enough to tip that off. Either Blossom and her boyfriend were going to have sex for the first time, or the fifth time, or the 749th time, or Tony relapsed into alcoholism and drug abuse, or Nick brought another woman home, bringing the wrath of the spoiled daughter, or… You get the picture.The jokes weren’t even that funny. In fact, most of them dealt with Joey saying “Whoa” in response to something or another… That, or whatever Blossom and Six decided to wear for a hat in that particular episode… To this day, the theme music gives me shivers…Where Are They Now? Mayim Bialik, whose name means “Water” in Hebrew, was last seen in a made-for-TV movie called Don’t Drink the Water. Joey Lawrence is rocking up the pop charts in Malaysia. Michael Stoyanov is busy doing commercials for IBM and Jenna von Oÿ is busy making me breakfast.Written by: Vance Moravian