Beautiful Creatures (2000)

If you combined the crimes performed by Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey in the Peter Jackson drama Heavenly Creatures (1994) with the black comedy of the A Fish Called Wanda (1988) sequel Fierce Creatures (1997), you’d get something like the British crime flick Beautiful Creatures (2000). Equal parts thriller, comedy and drama, the pseudo Thelma & Louise (1991) spoof features brunette babe Susan Lynch and Rachel Weisz as a blonde bombshell. When Dorothy (Lynch) walks out on her man after a fight, she runs into Petula (Weisz) fighting with her boyfriend Brian (Tom Mannion) on the street. Dorothy hits Brian with a pole and accidentally kills him. Now, she and Petula must concoct a scheme to cover up the murder. Yes, both Dorothy and Petula have a body to die for — but getting rid of a corpse is a whole different matter. Mucho twists and turns ensue, but the pair of curvaceous leading ladies never fail to straighten Mr. Skin’s sex pistol! This is especially the case when we are shown a sex videotape showcasing Petula getting banged from behind by some guy. Even though the imagery is grainy, we can make out Ms. Weisz’s bouncing bare boobs for a few seconds on the retro recording. Maybe that’s where the phrase, “Be Kind, Rewind,” comes from! In fact, we’re sure everyone who is watching would agree that her bountiful breasts are the most beautiful creatures on screen. In other words, we assume this pic is rated R for Rachel’s Ravishing Rack!