Battle Dome

If this show were any lamer it would be a wearing an Apple Computer T-shirt, singing “We Are The World” and going to the prom with its sister. A reworking of the old American Gladiators show (you remember that one, it features stars’n’stripes spandex and multiple mullets), this series pits ‘gladiators’ against athletes (all of which seem to be hand-picked for their lack of size) in contests to prove their warrior skills. Only, between the contests we’re subjected to terrible scripted ‘bits’ that inform us of behind the scenes conflicts between the gladiators. If you’re thinking that sounds like pro wrestling, you’re on target, as that’s what the producers seem to be going for. And it works in this setting about as well as it worked in the XFL. It doesn’t. On the positive side, the show does feature a lot of busty ‘ring girls’ that do nothing more than look good draped on a hulky guy’s arm. One of these is Bobbie Brown (no, not Whitney’s supplier) who is best known for appearing in Warrant’s Cherry Pie video. Yes, the smile on my face is indeed “ten miles wide,” thanks for asking lads.