To cast the female lead in Hansel and Gretel, an upcoming "dark action movie" based on the already pretty dark children's story of kidnapping and cannibalism, the producers sought out the hottest babes from all over the world, all of whom had done great nudity.
From France, they looked at Eva Green, who stripped in The Dreamers. From Sweden came Noomi Rapace, who nakedly lezzed out in both The Girl Who Played with Fire and Dasiy Diamond. From Germany there was Diane Kruger, whose T&A made her the perfect Helen of Troy. And from the UK they looked at Gemma Arterton, who finally got the role, maybe because they saw her naked partertons in The Disappearance of Alice Creed.
Based on the way they've been casting this movie Mr. Skin can only assume that the people behind Hansel and Gretel are looking to make some kind of skin-filled fantasy along the lines of Cinderella with blond B-movie babe Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith or Fairy Tales with naked scream queen Linnea Quigley.
But if that's the case, why not cast Eva, Noomi, and Diane as the three little pigs? Then Gemma can huff and puff and blow their clothes off.
Can you Hansel that?
