Mr. Skin Mr. Skin

By Mike McPadden

Tele-visions. Broadcast nudes. Idiot-box foxes. TV T&A.

As increasing options crop up all the time on the ever-expanding realm of televised entertainment, the great news is that it provides more and more opportunities to ogle actresses wearing less and less.

Nudity has long been a staple of cable series and, in the decade and a half since the butt-crack-happy debut of NYPD Blue, free TV has been compelled to compete by lowering the bar on fleshly taboos and upping their ratings among armchair voyeurs everywhere.

The past twelve months provided some high-impact small-screen skin displays. With a remote control in his one free hand, Mr. Skin salutes 2006's finest TV skin-chievements.

CABLE

Brotherhood (Showtime)
Boob Tube Babe: Annabeth Gish (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Genesis 27:29" -- aired on 07/16/06
Miss Gish dishes up her back bacon, lying naked in bed, dragging on a joint in this family crime drama. The sight of Annabeth's smokin' (butt)crack is truly intoxicating.

Deadwood (HBO)
Boob Tube Babe: Paula Malcomson (Picture: 1)
Episode: "The Catbird Seat" -- aired on 08/20/06
In an attempt to discombobulate Gerald McRaney before pumping him full of lead, Paula Malcomson unbuttons her shirt and lifts her skirt, blasting us all with awesome boobs and pubes.

Entourage (HBO)
Boob Tube Babes: Emmanuelle Chriqui (Picture: 1) and Malin Akerman (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Three's Company" -- aired on 07/16/06
Lucky fucker Kevin Connolly, as a schmucky Queens kid turned Hollywood agent, sees stars when he manages to m?ge with Emmanuelle Chriqui and Malin Akerman.

Huff (Showtime)
Boob Tube Babes: Laura Bottrell (Picture: 1) and Nichole Mercedes Robinson (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Radio Silence" -- aired on 05/21/06
The topless salt-and-pepper combo of white Laura Bottrell and dusky Nichole Mercedes Robinson spice things up for Oliver Platt. You'll Huff to their puffs.

The L Word (Showtime)
Boob Tube Babes: Leisha Hailey (Picture: 1) and Erica Cerra (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Lifeline" -- aired on 02/05/06
Showtime's Sapph-o-rama The L Word is such a relentless treasure trove of naked girl-girl greatness that selecting just one lesbianic encounter each season proves to be a (fantastically pleasant) challenge. Here's the 2006 high point(er)s: Bubbly Leisha Hailey exudes such an adorably pixie-like sensuality that it came as a shock when she took off her shirt and revealed that, bosom-wise, she was no waif at all. In the episode "Lifeline," naked hardbody brunette Erica Cerra coaxes Leisha out of her top to reveal the latter's stunningly full-bodied milk bombers as they grind gashes and suck face ferociously. Who knew Leisha had D words?

Nip/Tuck (FX)
Boob Tube Babe: Brooke Shields (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Faith Wolper, PhD" -- aired on 10/10/06
At long last, Brooke Shields actually proves that nothing comes between her and her fancy designer jeans, by pulling down pants to reveal a goofy lower-back tattoo and an extraordinarily inviting upper butt crack.

The Shield (FX)
Boob Tube Babe: Gina Torres (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Of Mice and Lem" -- aired on 03/15/06
As the mentally unwell ex-wife of Forest Whitaker's character on this balls-out LAPD drama, Gina Torres falls prey to the diabolical charms of Michael Chiklis. Try not to fall apart when she pulls down her pants in passionate embrace with Chiklis.

The Sopranos (HBO)
Boob Tube Babe: Alicia Lor?/a> (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Luxury Lounge" -- aired on 04/23/06
When recovering druggie Michael Imperioli falls off the wagon on HBO's smash mob series, he lands in a pile of cocaine along with naked-knockered Alicia Lor?/b>. Now those are some bumps worth doing!

Weeds (Showtime)
Boob Tube Babe: Meital Dohan (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Crush Girl Love Panic" -- aired on 09/18/06
Israeli eyeful Meital Dohan dominates a dude in a kinky bondage scene that brings new meaning to the concept of "the munchies."

*

NETWORK

Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
Boob Tube Babe: Monique Coleman (Picture: 1)
Epsiode: "Round Three" -- aired on 09/26/06
As Monique Coleman spins on the arm of Mario Lopez, her ultra-slinky yellow dress suffers a seat-meat-revealing "wardrobe malfunction." Talk about a flashdance!

Desperate Housewives (ABC)
Boob Tube Babe: Eva Longoria (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Sweetheart, I Have to Confess" -- 10/29/06
Lingerie-clad Eva Longoria eases back in bed as a guy slides off her stockings, and we're Desperate to watch the scene over and over again.

Heroes (NBC)
Boob Tube Babe: Ali Larter (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Collision" -- aired on 10/16/06
Super-powered Ali Larter bends over in a thong to reveal cheekage above and beyond the hotness of any ordinary mortal woman that will turn at least one part of you into a Man of Steel.

House M.D. (NBC)
Boob Tube Babe: Leighton Meester (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Informed Consent" -- aired on 09/19/2006
Teen trollop Leighton Meester supplies a perfect comeuppance to the curmudgeonly Dr. House when she struts away from him and exposes a pull-me thong sticking up above her jeans. Physician, feel thyself.

My Name Is Earl (NBC)
Boob Tube Babe: Nadine Velazquez (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Born a Gamblin Man" -- aired on 11/30/06
As mega-knockered Nadine Velazquez runs from the cops while she's wearing a wild bikini, her juicy juggalos jiggle and bounce and break all known laws of gravity and almost break free of their strained pink container.

Six Degrees (ABC)
Boob Tube Babe: Shiri Appleby (Picture: 1)
Episode: "What You Wish For" -- aired on 11/02/06
Knock-knock-knockout! Scintillating Shiri Appleby appears in Campbell Scott's doorway wearing the skimpiest of black bras and panties.

The Tyra Banks Show (syndicated)
Boob Tube Babe: Tyra Banks (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Panty Party" -- aired on 11/15/2006
The world's ultimate super-duper model has a "Panty Party" and you're invited to try to take your eyes off Tyra once she tosses off her robe on a fashion runway and exposes her curve-hugging undergarments for pervy perusal.

Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Boob Tube Babe: Katherine La Nasa (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Apologies for the Frivolity" -- aired on 10/23/06
Katherine La Nasa sunbathes in an open-topped bikini. Charlie Sheen rubs lotion on her bare back. You will be jealous of him for the first time since he broke up, in real life, with Ginger Lynn Allen.

Ugly Betty (ABC)
Boob Tube Babe: Salma Hayek (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Trust, Lust, and Must" -- aired on 11/02/06
Ugly Betty means Udder Beauty, as Salma Hayek, the show's (s)executive producer, removes her shirt in an elevator and busts out the most bodacious cleavage ever broadcast on network TV.

Without a Trace (CBS)
Boob Tube Babe: Roselyn Sanchez (Picture: 1)
Episode: "Candy" -- aired on 10/01/2006
Detective Roselyn Sanchez goes undercover as a stripper and uncovers as much of her flawless physique as the censors will allow while she gyrates onstage at a gentlemen's club.