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Are Lohan and Alba Nude in Machete? We've Got the Skinfo!

Wed, Sep 1, 2010 @ 4:15pm by Skin Central (10 Comments)

lilo machete nunEarly buzz suggested that our favorite freckled ex-woman in prison, Lindsay Lohan, would be nude in the new Robert Rodriguez grindhouse send-up, Machete (2010).

The movie doesn't open until Friday, but one of our trust Skin scouts hit an early screening today to get the skinny.

Final skinalysis? There's nudity, but NONE of it is from Lindsay or costar Jessica Alba!

Before you punch a wall in frustration, the good news is that we were able to get a clip the first scene in Machete, which features the screamingly hot, very Eva Mendes-like Mayra Leal showing ass-tounding naked boobs and ass when she stabs Danny Trejo with the titular weapon, then pulls a cell phone out of her (sadly hidden) hair pie. Members can view the clip here!

As for the rest of the flick, we have some hot hooter action under a waterfall from sexy Alicia Rachel Marek and some uncredited babes.

Here's the full skinny:

(0:03) Danny Trejo busts in on a bedroom where Mayra Leal is lying with her breasts exposed and possibly a hint of shadowed bush. He picks her up and carries her out giving us a nice view of her ass over his shoulder. She begins flirting with him, commenting on his “long, hard” machete which she grabs and stabs him with. She stands before him on the ground, giving us more nice looks at her boobs and great butt. From behind we see her reach between her legs and pull a cell phone from her vagina.

(0:25) Cheryl Chin is in a bikini and brings a phone to Steven Seagal. Some brief breasts from an anonymous girl at poolside and a woman in a bikini top is standing next to Seagal.

(0:30) Jessica Alba is playing some sort of Wii fighting game in an enormously tight and sexy workout outfit.Lindsay machete

(0:35) Jessica Alba is in the shower. It is the tilted shot we see in the trailer that straightens itself out, only she is not wearing anything as we are meant to believe in the trailer. Her breasts and crotch are strategically covered by her arms and legs, but just a single inch of movement in the camera in anyway and we would see something. It's a beautiful shot.

(0:55) Lindsay Lohan is in the pool with Alicia Rachel Marek playing her mother. Marek’s breasts are very visible above the water, but Lohan’s are kept entirely underneath. She asks Danny Trejo to join them and we cut to the shot from the trailer where Marek and the unknown blonde are the women whose breasts are exposed on either side of them. It is most definitely not Lohan in this shot. After that flashback, so to speak, Trejo has them placed in the back of his hearse where they are passed out. Lohan is on the left and we can only see partial left breast on her, again obscured by an arm.

(0:57) Jeff Fahey watches the pool footage from earlier (in the Grindhouse trailer) with Marek & the unknown blonde again making out with Trejo with their boobs exposed.

(1:20) Lindsay Lohan and Alicia Rachel Marek wake up, both nude. We can see Marek’s breasts. Lohan’s, though, are obscured by her blonde hair.

(1:30) Michelle Rodriguez emerges from the back of an ambulance sporting her new look with an eyepatch and a black leather bra which we will see her in for the rest of the movie.

(1:41) In the final scene of the film, Jessica Alba gets out of a police car after pulling over Trejo. From the waist down we see her in a short skirt and thigh-high boots.

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Comments

Hell, I knew all these skin rumors were just that -- rumors. Never put your trust in those "people" (bots or otherwise) who claim to see the movie long before anyone else does.

If it's not one not getting naked, it has to be TWO, right? Double trouble. Do they really want us to avoid seeing these movies or what?

Aren't these same so-called reports (skinsiders, if you will) telling us that Kirsten Dunst is topless in her next movie? We supposedly see her naked while in the shower or something along those lines. I think they even mention how big her knockers are. It's another moment to stifle back that big yawn. We've heard it all before.

Skin_Enthusiast @ 8:07PM on September 1, 2010

@Skin_Enthusiast:

Just got back from seeing Machete. Yes, Lindsay Lohan's hair is in the way, but it doesn't do a very good job of covering up her nipple in the scene where she's waking up. Truth be told I might have missed it if I weren't looking for it, but then again, who wouldn't be?

Dane @ 6:54PM on September 3, 2010

@Dane:

I concur with Dane when she wakes up you can see her nipple a couple of times.

Skinny D @10:19PM on September 3, 2010

@Dane:

Lindsay's nipples were visible during the scene where she wakes up as indicated by Dane.

You can definitely tell it was a body double during the pool scene though. Dead giveaway was the lack of freckles on the shoulders, smaller breasts (or at least they seemed much more pert), and the obscured face.

A couple peaks at the nipples was more than I expected.

Jeff Z @ 1:13AM on September 4, 2010

@Dane:

I'm glad others saw what I had seen. Based on the nudity rankings that you have here on Mr. Skin, I would say that Lindsay Lohan has brief breast peeks and that shower scene is very good for Alba who is rarely showing skin. Kudos to Robert Rodriguez in getting women to dress super sexy or nude. He was a master in Sin City and gave us an early Salma Hayek nude in Desperado, now he gives us Lohan's first honest nipple peek.

Ebert @ 2:36AM on September 4, 2010

@Dane:

Wow! These skin fans have some pretty sharp and keen eyesight, huh?

It looks like it may be time for Skin Central's skin scout(s) to go back and check out "Machete" once again and give a whole new skinalysis, because a few people here already agree that there WAS some partial nudity by Lindsay Lohan, so whoever reviewed the film previously needs to now join the ranks of the unemployed. Just kidding, but seriously guys, it was missed the first time around somehow.

Kudos to Dane, Skinny D, Jeff Z and Ebert (Roger?) for pointing it out to the rest of us.

Skin_Enthusiast @ 1:54PM on September 4, 2010

What do I keep on saying?

Show don't tell!

I'll believe it when I SEE it!

Why do these teasers continually prove me right?

KWynd @ 5:28PM on September 1, 2010

Even if Li-Lo and *sob* Jessica Alba aren't nude, the quality of the other nudes (and of the film itself, reportedly) seem well worth it. Thanks for the advanced skinformation!

Dave @ 4:42PM on September 1, 2010

@Dave:

Definitely looks to be worth the price of skinmission.

(That was a stretch, I know)

Muggsy (Skinployee) @ 5:06PM on September 1, 2010

@Muggsy:

I oughtta whammy your Whammy for that one. =P

Dave @ 6:14PM on September 1, 2010
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