Mr. Skin Mr. Skin

It's Valentine's Day, and if I could come up with one actress out there now who embodies the term "sweetheart", it would be Natalie Portman. Beloved by all and as intelligent as she is easy on the eyes, she exudes a natural, sexy innocence that any dude can respond to.

Unfortunately, she's skingy. Really skingy.

And although last year we finally captured the Hole-y Grail of celeb nudes with a bare-butted Nat in Hotel Chevalier, the future for Natalie nudity isn't looking bright.

PageSix ran a story about Natalie speaking at a press junket for the upcoming The Other Boleyn Girl alongside costar Scarlett Johansson (what a pair!), and she complained about the lack of meaty roles available for women:

"I've recently been getting frustrated," she said. "I don't know if you've had this experience," she said turning to Scarlett, "but we're probably seeing a lot of the same variety of what's out there, but I mean the number of roles for strippers or prostitutes or the opposite which, is like, 'She's the moral center of the film! She's the pure one. She's the one that makes the man realize who he should be,' you know? That sort of dichotomy exists so strongly, it's like the virgin/whore thing evident to the greatest extent. So that's really been bothering me. Sort of finding a character who is complicated, like the women in this film, is very, very exciting."

Listen, Natalie, it's okay. We'll always have Closer. I can live with you never playing a stripper or prostitute again if you promise to inject a little skin into any of these complicated roles you'll be diving into in the future. "Naked Humanitarian" sounds like a good part. So does "Naked Biophysicist"!