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LC Almost Spills Her Hills
Lauren Conrad's Near Nip Slip
Finally we get to see Lauren Conrad nude! Almost. Egotastic reports that at a recent party, the star of MTV's hit reality show The Hills had a few too many martoonies and nearly fell out of her plunging cleavage as she strolled past the paparazzi. We say "nearly" because this happy accident was prevented by that most hateful of all human inventions, double-sided nipple-tape. Once again, a simple strip of adhesive has cheated the world out of a long-awaited glimpse of a tipsy young Hollywood starlet?s rubbery pink pencil erasers, and it probably won?t be the last time either. The 12th century Pope Innocent II was so shocked at the misery and destruction caused by the newly invented crossbow that he condemned its use and declared it a blasphemous creation. It?s about time the current pontiff tracked down and excommunicated the guy who invented double-sided nipple tape, because that nightmare creation is responsible for more heartbreak and catastrophe than an thousand crossbows aimed at humanity?s crotch.
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