Susan Saint James in Love at First Bite (1979)

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Love at First Bite (1979)? That's what got us banned from the massage parlor! But when you're a sportscaster or a suave, perfectly tanned Transylvanian Count (like George Hamilton) you can get away with murder. This 1979 spoof of Dracula movies has the bloodsucker trying to fit in in New York City and make the lovely Cindy Sondheim (Susan Saint James) into his undead sex slave. Who can blame him, given her unwillingness to bare her boobs and butt, much less her bush! As Renfield (Arte Johnson) would say about that decision, "Very interesting, but not very skin-teresting, and therefore . . . SCHTUPID!"