Julianna Margulies in Newton Boys (1998)
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Review
Why director Richard Linklater (Suburbia, Dazed and Confused) chose to take on a period drama about four boring bank robbers is beyond me. (The entire project reeks of ‘contractual obligations’.) The Newton Boys offers not one new or fresh idea into this stale genre. There's no conflict, no real plot and not one character who even remotely resembles a real person.
These four brothers rob banks. There's the synopsis. If there were any subplots or anything interesting going on, I'd mention it. Matthew McConaughey is the oldest and dumbest and he convinces his backwoods brothers to join him in a glamorous and guilt-free life as career criminals. His brothers each have one character trait and the actors play their one note for the whole movie: Vincent Donofrio is the big dumb one, who we are introduced to halfway through the movie…which is strange because they never mention a fourth brother until after he shows up! Skeet Ulrich is the young, idealistic one who comes to love the life of blowing up safes and sleeping with whores. And then there's Ethan Hawke as the fun-loving drunken brother, complete with laughably bad mustache. Whoever told Ethan Hawke that he could do this role was a cruel, cruel liar.
So, they rob banks. I think I covered that. What else? Well, there's the "love interest", played by Julianna Margulies, who doesn't get to say, "12 c.c.s of sodium chloride, stat!" even once, so she's clearly out of her element. She's pretty, so I guess she earned her paycheck. Matt McConaughey, however. Sheesh. He is so bland and so drab as the supposedly charismatic leader of these idiots; I wanted to punch him in the neck. Hey, Matt? Your probation period is over. Less stuff like Larger Than Life and Edtv, more stuff like Frailty. Cool?
Neither the cast nor any component of this movie ever once rises above the "made-for-TV" aura that surrounds it. The bank robbery scenes are completely devoid of any tension, as apparently all these crimes took place in an America that hadn't yet learned to employ policemen who would work at night. The Newton Boys lurches from exploding safe to exploding vault with no regard for anything approaching dramatic conflict, humor or even a good sex scene. (Hey, it's a cheap ploy but I'd rather watch a pointless sex scene than one more exploding safe.)
Shockingly banal, slow, drab, dull, lethargic, pointless, unexciting, clichéd and just plain boring. If you can find something worth recommending in this movie, I have about 30 movies I can guarantee you've never seen.
Nudity Report: Margulies and McConaughey share a brief bathtub tryst, though our favorite ER nurse offers no clear glimpses of her nursing equipment!
IMDB Summary: 1,170 IMDb users rate this one at 5.8/10.
Box Office: Grossed just over $10 million against an estimated budget of $27 million.
DVD Info: Widescreen Anamorphic format, theatrical trailers.
Written by: Scott Weinberg