Susan George in Die Screaming Marianne (1971)

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Most sources which list this film want to clean up the grammar and add the comma that should be in the title. But the comma isn't there. The title listed above is the film's official title. Maybe it's in German. No, I think that would have to be Die screamingte Marianne.

From this annoying grammatical error to the films misleading marketing as a horror film, to the choppy editing, to the strange acting styles, to the incomprehensible plot, to the decidedly unmenacing menace, this movie is as irritating as it is unpleasant. I suppose I could bore you with the loopholes in the incredible plot, but why bother? Let's move on to other topics.

Like how to do a film in exotic foreign locales without leaving the room.

The scenes in England: a room with paneled walls.

In Spain: a room with paneled walls covered by bullfighting posters.

In Finland: wooden benches added to the paneled room, so it looks like a sauna.

Voila! Instant David Lean film!

It isn't a horror film at all, although director Pete Walker (Frightmare) would go on to become a sort of watered down UK version of goremeister Herschell Gordon Lewis

Walker is probably best known to North Americans, if at all, for the Vincent Price film, House of the Long Shadows, which was his swan song. That film also features John Carradine, Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.

Unfortunately, all four of those noted horror players were in small roles, and the star was Desi Arnaz, Jr.

The movie for today, Die Screaming Marianne, is a story about a family maneuvering around each other for possession of the family inheritance, with some family members relatively innocent, and some outsiders also in on the game.

The "horror" is more like Hitchcock stuff - severed brake cords causing cars to speed uncontrollably down mountain roads. You know the drill. Come to think of it, tampering with the brakes has to be the oldest cliche in this type of movie.

The evil guys must thank heaven that these people all live on mountaintops. Tampering with the brakes doesn't matter much in Florida, except maybe that you run over a turtle when you try to stop.

I have to admit that I didn't pay as much attention to this film as I might to a real movie, but I still don't know whether Susan George's husband was in on the scheming, or if perhaps he really loved her for herself.

He seemed to be a good guy, but the film ended with an oblique reference to him, accompanied by a mysterious birthday card he wrote to Big Sue before he met his maker prematurely.

Anyway, the point is that you should avoid this movie. It's boring. Certain things in the plot don't seem to make sense, and they never explain them. The acting is stiff. And I don't even know what the ending is supposed to mean.

Did I mention boring?

Nudity Report: None but Susan George is seen in some bikini underwear and bathing suits.

Critics Vote: No major reviews online.

IMDB Summary: 5.0 out of 10

DVD Info: No widescreen, no features.

Written by: Scoopy ...Scoopy.net