Bridget Fonda in Lake Placid (1999)
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Review
Is ‘Lake Flaccid’ too obvious a pun? Another in a long line of Hollywood teases, Lake Placid is a limp and lazy affair that promises carnage yet offers corn. Some pretty good actors wander around aimlessly, occasionally screaming at the blurry lines surrounding the CGI effects. This type of comedy/horror movie is really a pointless combination, as the horror is not scary and the comedy doesn’t really approach funny.
If you edited out perhaps 5 or 6 raunchy (and painfully unfunny) vulgarities and maybe 10 seconds of mild gore, this would be one of those movies parents would allow their 12-year old boys to see. It's certainly too tame for any kind of real horror fan. So why not just tame it down by another 2% and market it for kids?
The forced witticisms and strained vulgar sarcasm that are the hallmark of all that is David E. Kelley's snarky writing runs rampant here. The actors are the only ones in on the joke, apparently. There’s lots of mugging for the camera and cartoonish eye rolling, which destroys any tension that may build up, even by accident. This is a movie that’s supposed to be about a killer alligator, after all! I don't want to give too much away but let's just say the entire cast could return for the sequel. Bridget Fonda bites her lip worriedly, Bill Pullman stammers and looks dazed and Oliver Platt offers some kind of strange Marlon Brando/Thurston Howell thing.
A few exciting scare scenes show up just long enough to remind you how bored you are but then Betty White pops up. Hoo boy. If you loved her scene-stealing turn in Hard Rain, wait until you get a load of her stunningly profane old lady character. She makes Chris Rock look like Pebbles Flintstone in this one and I don't mean that in a good way. For some odd reason, the producers have decided that one reviewer's claim that Lake Placid is this year's Anaconda is to be considered praise somehow, as it's plastered all over the ads. At least Anaconda had a body count. Lake Placid delivers a few scattered fun scenes but hey, who orders cheeseburgers for the pickles?
Nudity Report: One of the all-time perkiest dollbabies out there, Ms. Fonda gives us a brief thrill as she’s swimming about underwater. No skin to speak of but doesn’t she have a great tight little ass??
IMDB Summary: 3,960 IMDb users rate this one at 5.3/10.
Box Office: Grossed almost $32 million against a budget of $27 million.
DVD Info: Available in either Full Frame or Widescreen Anamorphic formats, promotional featurette, theatrical trailers, TV spots.
Written by: Scott Weinberg