Louisette Geiss in Wishmaster 3 (2001)

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This movie has a couple of lessons to be learned, for you youngsters.

1) I know you young guys love to play Tetris and shit like that, but if you see a puzzle-box covered with ancient runes, I'd pass on it if I were you. Experience has taught us older guys that solving those never brings world peace or personal happiness. Mostly, when you solve 'em, you open up a gateway, allowing guys from hell or France to enter our existence, thereafter either destroying our plane of existence or at least clogging our arteries with their rich sauces.

2) You can have good lighting and photography, some competent direction, adequate acting and special effects, and still make a shitty movie if you don't have a script. Go the extra mile and hire a writer. C'mon, guys, it's not like they'll break your budget. Most of them live under bridges and sell flowers to passing cars. They'll churn out a script for a hot meal and a couple nights in a soft bed.

The most irritating thing about the script is that Wishy's powers keep changing. Sometimes he can move faster than the flash or Danny "Suits" Sparrow, while at other times he has to chase people up the stairs at normal human speed and at other times he moves about the speed of a car. Whatever they happen to need for the plot at that particular moment. Sometimes the Wishatollah has the power over all time and space, and other times you can toss him with a judo move. That is, in fact, the story behind the entire film. Whatever is convenient.

The guy battling the Djinn has a super-duper magical sword. Now if they ran Wishy through with the sword - end of movie. So what does he do? One time, Wishy is completely vulnerable, and Good Guy has the sword in his hand, so he hits the old Wishmeister with the hilt end, as if he were Moe trying to pull the ol' nyuck-nyuck on Curly, and not a supernatural being who wants to cause the end of the world. On another occasion, he fails to use the handy sword and runs Wishy through with a flagpole - and he actually had to go out of his way not to use the sword.

And I didn't even understand the ending.

What is the deal, here?

Positives:

The acting is OK, the photography is good, and the pacing is fairly slick.

There are some naked chicks, which makes that good photography well worthwhile.

The DVD features a good widescreen transfer (Huh? It was a straight-to-vid!), and is remarkably full-featured for a grade-b.

But be warned, the script is awful.

The other irritating thing about Wishy is that he thinks he's in West Side Story instead of a monster movie.

Nudity Report: Two topless she-demons are actresses named Angela Jackson and Ruth Dubuisson. Beautiful girls, perfect lighting. One of the leads, Louisette Geiss, is topless in a sex scene.

IMDB Summary: IMDb voters score it 6.2.

Box Office: Straight-to-vid.

DVD Info: Widescreen anamorphic, 1.85:1. Full-length director commentary. Making-of featurette.


Written by: Scoopy …courtesy of Scoopy.net