Samantha Janus in Up 'n' Under (1998)

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Up ‘n’ Under (1998) concerns itself with rugby, which is sort of like the English version of football, only that’s what they call soccer. It’s too confusing and not worth explaining, except to note that a ragtag team of drunks is whipped into shape by a fitness instructor played by the very fit indeed Samantha Janus. The blonde Brit strumpet has such a curvy figure it’s amazing her players can keep their eyes on the ball--more likely they’re thinking about balling her. Speaking of balls, there’s one scene in which Samantha is buck-ass naked in the gym, which will have audiences cupping their family jewels and shining them until they glow with a sticky sheen.