Gia Carides in Lifebreath (1997)
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Review
Lifebreath (As it was deemed fir to be called in the theaters…It was released as Last Breath on video…) stars Luke “Dylan McKay” Perry as the doting husband of Cystic Fibrosis-ailing Francie Swift who happens to sport a rare blood type that prevents her from receiving the much-needed organ transplant that would save her life. Isn’t that always the way?
The film opens with Dylan…er…Luke tending to his ol’ lady who is coughing up phlegm like it’s going out of style. Shortly after her “episode,” she begs him for sex, begins coughing up phlegm again, etc. This goes on for the better part of the flick.
Luke, being the intrepid schoolteacher that he is in the flick, does a search on a computer (I hesitate to say “Internet,” seeing as all that comes up on the monitor is the green text reminiscent of Days of Olde…) for a blood-type match for his wife. He thus locates one in the form of the incredibly sexy Gia Carides, whom you may remember as “Robin Spitz-Swallows” in the blockbuster hit Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.
The two subsequently begin an affair, as that is the only way for Luke to get her organs, or something. To be perfectly frank, the affair was basically used to insert some gratuitous sex scenes, a smidgen of Skin and a side story involving Swift discovering Luke’s motive, very nearly telling Gia, coughing up some more phlegm, etc. Perry eventually murders Carides, Swift gets her organs and in the end, we find out that she’s started an extramarital affair, as well. So much for true love.
The plot and dialogue in this “thriller” are pretty damned far from impressive, the acting is flat and the sex scenes manage to show off as little flesh as is humanly possible. Insert some more Skinage, get a higher grade. Too bad. This one’s a D-.
Nudity Report: Francie Swift manages to keep her nipples hidden in spite of several topless scenes, although she appears near the end of the flick with only her bra and panties on. Gia Carides flashes some ass and nipplage, albeit briefly, in several sex scenes with Luke Perry, so be ready on the pause button.
Critics’ Vote: Right…
IMDb Summary: 4.1/10. Generous if nothing else…
DVD Info: No special features, Pan and Scan, Dolby 5.1. Not the greatest transfer, either.
Written by: Vance Moravian