Jane Krakowski in Dance with Me (1998)

Clips

Pics

Review

Dance With Me is basically Dirty Dancing in that it’s ostensibly about a pair of professional dancers (Vanessa Williams and Latin pop-throb Chayanne) who meet up in Texas of all freaking places and head to the championships (Where are these things held, anyways? And for that matter, does anyone really give a shit?) in spite of several boring subplots.

Subplot the First: Chayanne is out to reunite with his long-lost father after his mother’s death. Dad happens to be Kris Kristofferson, who just-so-happens to run the dance studio. Dad also doesn’t know until the end that Chayanne is his kid.

Subplot the Second: Williams’ ex-partner (William Marquez) is a sneering asshole of a pony-tailed prick. He also happened to father her child, so we know they’ve had sex. Ewww….

Subplot the Third: Joan Plowright is competing for some sort of senior’s title. Such is the Mystery of the Dance.

No one cares. I don’t care. You don’t care. And the characters do absolutely nothing to make us care. It’s empty, vapid, stupid, retarded and basically an overlong (well over two hours!) film about dancing. One might suppose that those who appreciate the fine art of shaking one’s booty to the grooves of Latin music would appreciate the film but we don’t. BORING. D.

Nudity Report: None, although there’s plenty of hard-bodied dancer poontang being scooted pretty much non-stop across the screen…

Critics’ Vote: Ebert and Berardinelli both gave it three stars out of four. Crackheads, I tell ya!

IMDb Summary: 5.7/10

Box Office: Right around $15 million gross…

DVD Info: 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with 2.0 Surround so you can pump all those caliente Latin pop tunes on the ol’ home stereo system…


Written by: Vance Moravian