Julia Bruglio in I Love You, Don't Touch Me! (1997)

Clips

Pics

Review

Girls never know who is best for them until some other bitch latches onto him. This time-tested truism is proven by the perky and spunky twenty-five-year-old female virgin whose theme song might, like the movie constructed around her neurotic romantic missteps, be titled I Love You, Don’t Touch Me! (1997). Women rarely amass one-quarter century of existence with hymen intact on their own. I Love You’s heroine has achieved her long-preserved chaste state with the help of an early boyfriend who cheated on her, presumably with someone a little looser of morals and limbs. Ms. Tight’s loneliness is kept at bay by the unlikely friendship of a budding tramp and the counterintuitive devotion of a smitten sap. Naturally the promiscuous pal straps one on with the worshipful lad, and the sour cherry suddenly realizes that life would be far sweeter if only she had encouraged her heartthrob to pluck her.