Cindy Williams in Meet Wally Sparks (1997)

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This is an absolutely pitiful display. Absolutely nothing works in this woefully unfunny and downright ugly comedy. Sitting through Meet Wally Sparks is similar to watching your grandfather fondle a blow-up sex doll, only less funny (and probably less sexy.)

Hey, if we take the raunchy, nasty Rodney Dangerfield from Caddyshack, throw him into a plot about nasty talk shows (mainly because that's what the ‘consumers’ are all paying attention to this week) and toss in a few pathetic hack ex-actors…We'll release it when the only thing out is some Van Damme/RuPaul movie and BOOM, Rodney's not under contract anymore!

Oh, good God, what did Cindy Williams do to deserve what she's forced to do in this filth? It's uglier than any Faces of Death or Batman sequel out there and you simply have to see it to believe it. (Better yet, don’t; Laverne and Shirley was a funny show.) Her shrill, drunk, screaming chubby ass is all over the place here and I wonder how far she was to homelessness before signing on for this degradation. Not far behind is David Ogden Stiers who offers his typical B movie ‘gruff and pompous rich guy’ routine.

Rodney plays a Jerry Springer-like talk show host (now there’s an inspiration for a movie!) who decides to camp out at the mansion of an uptight and quite annoying wealthy couple. He farts, they roll their eyes. He parades midgets and vulgar lesbians and they huff and puff. He ruins their socialite party by being basically as disgusting as humanly possible. You start wondering why this cretin isn't arrested, thrown into a straitjacket, or just harpooned through by someone.

Too much of my valuable time was spent on a throwaway and contemptuous void such as this. Please rent Caddyshack. The shots of the stupid gopher doing his little shuffle dance is funnier than anything in this poor movie and I really hated that puppet.

Rodney makes like what? One movie every three years? His waning fan base deserves better than this nasty junk. A complete waste of his talent. I don't think he hit the mark once in this one. Meet Wally Sparks and Ringmaster will footnote the late-90's talk-show craze the way Lambada: The Forbidden Dance footnotes the...um...late-80s Lambada craze.

Nudity Report: Cindy Ambuehl has large silicone breasts and houses them in various low-cut evening gowns. The pitiable Ms. Williams spends a large portion of the film with her rather plump frame wedged inside some unflattering lingerie and she jiggles all over the place. Unpleasant for all involved. On the other hand, if you like that, you know you need therapy and that’s worth something.

IMDB Summary: 403 IMDb users rate this one at 4.5/10.

Box Office: Grossed under $4 million.

DVD Info: Fullscreen and Widescreen formats, theatrical trailers.


Written by: Scott Weinberg