Anaconda (1997)

National Geographic isn’t only a place to gawk at pygmy boobs. In Anaconda (1997) a film crew from the naturalist magazine travels to the rainforest, where they’re taken hostage by Jon Voight. When it rains it pours. He exposes them to his snake—not his trouser snake, but a giant killer that tries to poke such cuties as Jennifer Lopez and Kari Wuhrer. Though the sweeties don’t let audiences see their sugar, watching the big-butted Jen and the titan-topped Kari run sweaty from a huge phallic symbol is enough to keep your python pumping.