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America's Next Top Model

America's Next Top Model (2003)

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Review

Think a television show about the fashion industry sounds a little, you know, fruity? Three words: competitive bikini modeling. From the mind (and bottomless casaba cleft) of superbabe Tyra Banks comes America's Next Top Model, next-level entertainment involving scantily clad nineteen-year-old model wannabes engaging in vicious catfights, getting on-air bikini waxes, and cavorting for cameras in various states of undress. Family-friendly network UPN is loathe to show actual T&A, but you can still click your shutter raw while viewing the contestants' blurred-out boobage and errant crack peeks, while clearly insane judge Janice Dickinson and ten-ton-teated Tyra serve up a cornucopia of cleavage! Though the winners of each "cycle" have never really gone on to set the modeling world on fire, first season champ Adrianne Curry set other things—namely, our loins—aflame showing off some pixilated palookas canoodling with real-life flame Christopher Knight (a.k.a. Peter Brady) when they cohabitated on The Surreal Life, while third-season victor Eva Pigford has been spotted prettying up the set of Kevin Hill.