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“While a wide range of Donald Trump’s interests have been on display this primary cycle (terrorism, military spending, immigration reform),” Vanity Fair noted last January, “we’ve heard less about another particular fascination of his: women and weight.” That is now open to debate.
“Hillary Clinton set up Donald Trump with embarrassing stories about a former Miss Universe—and now Trump can’t seem to let it go,” a disbelieving MSN mused late last week. “A bizarre early morning tweet storm by the Republican presidential nominee extended the Alicia Machado story into its fifth day Friday.”
The early rising Repub “called Machado ‘disgusting’ and ‘a con’ and raised questions about her past in a series of tweets fired off between 3 a.m. and 5:30 a.m.,” the Washington Post reported, “his most negative comments after days of attacks on her.”
“Who gets up at 3 o’clock in the morning to engage in a Twitter attack against a former Miss Universe?” asked Clinton hours later. “Really, who does things like that?”
And Alicia wasn’t about to take ‘The Blaming’ lying down:
“The Republican candidate and his campaign team are again generating attacks, insults and trying to revive slanders and false accusations about my life,” Machado responded online. “All this in order to intimidate, humiliate me and throw me off balance again. This, of course, is not the first time that I faced such a situation” with Mr. Trump {she refuses to speak his name now}. “When I was a young girl, the now candidate humiliated, insulted me, disrespected me publicly, as he usually did privately in the cruelest way.”
Perhaps the cruelest … which no one but Sleuth seems to have caught … was showing up unexpectedly to oversee the infamous 1997 ‘exercise workout’ to which he’d secretly invited 80 reporters: “Donald Trump was there,” Alicia recalled back in May 2016 when she still referred to him by name. “I had no idea what would happen. I was about to cry in that moment with all the cameras there. I said, ‘I don’t want to do this, Mr. Trump.’ He said, ‘I don’t care.’”
But he did care about business … so pageant promoter Trump made ‘the Fat Miss Universe’ Don a Diet Snapple hat to do cardio:
Only Sleuth so far has made the connection that Diet Snapple was the prime sponsor of The Howard SternShow—on which the real estate mogul had been promoting the 1997 pageant to pick Alicia’s successor. And would offer a major product tie-in opportunity on cartons cross-addressing Trump’s Apprentice TV franchise!
Ironically, while actor Gary Busey is now one of the GOP candidate’s most outspoken endorsers—though we suspect his consideration for the Supreme Court (below left) was just a negotiating ploy—he too was “humiliated” when Trump dumped him from The Celebrity Apprentice for “losing the Snapple challenge.”
So mocking a Miss Universe doesn’t preclude marketing: “That’s because I’m smart.”
At the same staged workout, tellingly, The Donald declared that he “would have forced then-wife MarlaMaples into the gym if she had put on the same amount of weight.”
Check out this clip from back in May 2016 … when Machado was making the same claims about Trump’s behavior that she supposedly was “making up” for use in the presidential debate five months in the future!
Perhaps he was joking about Marla having to work out, yet hubby almost forced her into another exercise: “According to multiple reports, including an article published August 19, 1990 in the Sun-Sentinel {of Palm Beach} …
… Trump wanted approval over all of Maples’ publicity photographs, and pressured her to pose for his mainstay, Playboy,” Jezebel writes. “A Washington Post article puts the Playboy offer, which reportedly appeared when her relationship with Trump became public, at $2 million.”
“This is, for Donald, not really news: he reportedly wanted his women staffers to pose for a spread in Playboy called ‘The Girls of Trump,’ and, now famously, once described his and Marla’s daughter Tiffany’s future assets.”
Not to mention her elder half-sister: “I don’t think my daughter Ivanka would pose for Playboy,” the mogul mentioned in March 2006, “although she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
He made that statement on The View. Ewwwww …
As for those other “creepy kids” who’ve both attacked Alicia in the past week:
Equally creepy was their dad telling Howard Stern, “I’ve known Paris Hilton from the time she’s 12, and the first time I saw her she walked into the room and I said, ‘Who the hell is that?’ Said Stern: “Did you want to bang her?” Thankfully, Donald demurred: “I’ve never been into that—they’ve sort of always stuck around that 25 {year old} category.” That’s what Melania was when she married the man twice her age.
And Trump further “bragged about watching Paris Hilton’s sex tape with his wife Melania” … and said seeing Paris do porn “only made her hotter.”
Which, in that context, makes his “sex tape” attack tweet about Ms. Machado (below) seem “hollow” and “hypocritical” to the Huffington Post:
And as for “crooked Hillary” arranging it to use in the debate … that would really have required preparation, since Alicia took the oath on August 19 – 39 days before the first faceoff {and, from a recent personal experience with a British friend, one generally needs to apply at least a year in advance to get approved}:
We know Hillary is famous for doing her homework—Trump staff reportedly nicknamed her ‘Preparation H’ before the debates—but that amount of advance work seems unlikely even for her.
And please note the tweet’s classic question: “Did” someone do something?—floating it out there without actually “saying” it … or offering any evidence.
Likewise Trump’s televised comments in Bill O’Reilly’s arranged “interview” two days after the debate: “A lot of things are coming out about her {Machado}. I’m not gonna say anything. I couldn’t care less. I really just don’t know her.” Before ominously adding: “Now a lot of things are coming out that I wasn’t aware of, like they say she threatened the life of a judge and got involved in all sorts of problems. If that turns out to be true, a lot of the things that are turning out to be, perhaps, true, I think it’s going to make Hillary look extremely bad.”
In addition to the phrase “perhaps true” making Stephen Colbert’s “truthiness” seem solid, does anyone wonder why anything she MAY have done in subsequent years has the slightest bearing or mitigating value on what The Donald DID call her when she was 19? Isn’t that what magicians call “misdirection”?
So let’s get to the bottom, ass it were, of Alicia’s alleged “anal sex tape …
“Former Miss Universe winner Alicia Machado, who has been campaigning against for the Hillary Campaign, has appeared in pornographic videos,” began a blast that was picked up by countless conservative outlets:
As voice of reason Snopes.com summarized: “However, although searching on terms such as ‘Alicia Machado Porn Star’ turns up several videos from free porn web sites, these videos don’t actually star Alicia Machado.”
In truth {what’s that?}, the clip most often cited as Alicia’s anal adventure is seriously in arrears: It came out as a 2004 DVD entitled, amazingly, Apprentass 4. And was clearly identified as veteran Slovak porn star AngelDark:
And while there may be “a superficial resemblance” between Angel and Alicia, it appears to be quite a stretch.
The Daily Beast speculated, “Or maybe Trump was referring to Machado’s caught-on-camera romp on a realityshow that was decidedly PG-13.”
“In 2005, Alicia Machado and her fellow Venezuelan, baseball star Bobby Abreu, confirmed their engagement before the former Miss Universe decided to join a famous Spanish reality show,” read one report. That’s a wrap: Slugger Bobby’s brawny biceps envelop his fiancée’s front when he was “hitting that”!
This is how the right-wing press went on the attack after Trump’s debate debacle:
And here is what actually was shown on La Granja {“The Farm”} … an entire, under•cover sequence that lasted less than 37 seconds {which means he couldn’t have lasted long enough to provoke the panting pronouncements probably planned}:
Though that quick nip slip from the same episode (above right) was clearly unplanned!
Alicia looked far too composed when “confronted” with the footage of her lifting her top to have been unaware—as is the case on Big Brother—that everything was being filmed …
… but she played along by showing discomfort when she let her sheet slip down to expose her derrière.
So how would the “lovers” not know the cameras were rolling when they were rockin’?
“The clip is actually pretty funny,” wrote a reviewer on Famous Board forum. “It’s from a Spanish Real World sort of reality show where the cast members all live in the same house and sleep in two rooms {sound staged to you?}. So Alicia and her male companion are supposedly trying to have sex without his roommate, who is in the bed next to them, waking up. Needless to say he wakes up just as the two finish. It’s pretty entertaining if you can understand Spanish.”
“Tienes una pinga divina,” Alicia exclaims often during the encounter … which translates as “You have a divine cock.”
She then turns the tables on her housemate, Spanish actor Fernando Acaso—climbing on top and riding him …
... until his roommate arises—suspiciously at the exact moment they supposedly ‘finish.’
Throughout, even with the more relaxed reality show standards on Spanish TV, not a single frame had to be blurred nor any word bleeped.
Leading the cyber sleuths at Snopes.com to conclude: “The so-called ‘sex tape’ is perhaps the tamest video ever to be so termed, consisting of nothing more than some grainy, night-vision footage of a couple of covered figures writhing in a bed. And reality television being what it is, the scene the tape depicts was quite possibly staged or fabricated.”
Judge for yourself … recognizing that they were wearing microphones (and clothes) the entire time:
In any case, in light of Trump’s tweets, how does family-friend Paris Hilton’s full-on, two-hour sex tape make “her even hotter” … while less-friendly Alicia Machado’s mild 37 second un•reality romp—in which nothing is really shown (or known)—make her “disgusting” and “a con.” Perhaps a question for the next debate …
And for the record: former fiancé Bobby Abreu “emphasized that he was no longer Machado’s boyfriend at the time and said their relationship had ended before she went to Spain to participate in La Granja.”
Contrast that to The Donald’s boast in his book The Art of the Comeback about bedding other men’s wives: “If I told the real stories of my experiences with women, often seemingly very happily married and important women, this book would be a guaranteed best-seller.”
So would a ‘sex tape’ of Alicia—if one actually existed. But that didn’t stop right-wing sites from spreading the word—along with the absurd: Finding a photo of Machado celebrating her citizenship with Old Glory, the Daily Caller wrapped itself in the flag by charging she had ‘defiled’ it!
Which seemed to trump two earlier instances they failed to note.
Perhaps Bill Maher put it in perspective during his latest Real Time monologue: “Yes, Donald Trump, major party nominee who wants to be the President of the United States, is urging the American public to check out a sex tape that doesn’t exist from a Venezuelan reality show! Republicans out there: thank you so much for this. You must be so fucking proud that your candidate takes a concrete position on something, and it’s: no fatchicks.”
He’s also gone on record as unenthused about fellatio. Asked by Howard Stern in September 2004 if “oral sex is important to you,” Trump replied on radio: “No, it’s not important to me.”
And also took a stand as anti-anal … so it's unlikely he viewed the vid of Angel (not Alicia) in The Apprentass 4. “There’s anal and this and that,” he complained of porn productions to Stern. “I’m not into anal.” But Donald, there’s a hole ’nuther world out there!
Where thong throngs might see his Miss Universe nemesis as an ideal can•didate.
As Trump also wrote in The Art of the Comeback: “Women have one of the great acts of all time. The person who came up with the expression ‘the weaker sex’ was either very naïve or had to be kidding. I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eye—or perhaps another body part.”
Alicia certainly seems the more adventurous in bed …
… already advanced at age 20 enough to entice the world’s most eligible bachelor, John F. Kennedy Jr., with her charms during her reign!
So honestly folks, just how "positively obese" could she have been?!
“We met at a dinner in New York,” the beauty queen revealed in her broken English for the first time in 2012. “I had the pleasure to share with him several times. I cannot call our relationship truly memorable. Yes, wooing me, but we rarely saw. We delighted each other.” And maybe even one of John-John’s New York pals?
“I’m not pretending to be Mother Teresa,” Alicia acknowledged on The Today Show after “Trump’s allies attempted to discredit” her. “I know they will try distractions about my story.”
Similar to the ‘distraction’ the brunette beauty offered at a 2013 press conference to launch her latest TV show.
As the cameras clicked, Machado turned to her co-stars for support … but lacked enough in her braless dress to prevent further revelations from coming out!
Laugh all you want ‘Miss Piggy’ … but we detect a cover up!
“Of course, everybody has a past,” she admitted to Anderson Cooper {co-moderator of Sunday’s town hall debate} on CNN when Trump teed off on Twitter by bringing her youth to the fore.
“And I’m not a saint girl. But that is not the point now.”
What is, would be not giving in to such sexist silliness that began a year and a half ago:
“It’s not revenge for me,” Alicia asserts. “It’s just I need to share my experience with this guy. If my story can open eyes in this election, that’s what I’m going to try to do.”
Which would truly be a crowning achievement (below right) … so our hat’s off to her!
“Sharing something I think is important,” the constant campaigner continues, “maybe can help to have the bestpresident we need to have.”
And maybe, in the process, even win over her toughest critic!
“I’m here, I’m strong,” Miss Universe 1996 concludes 20 years later. “I will be here ’til THE END and support Hillary Clinton.”
Enjoy Sunday’s second debate …
