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“The crackle of electricity, and the patter of rain drops on the stone walls and terra cotta roof give an eerie feeling when combined with the dark laboratory that houses various experiments,” Days of the Year ominously begins its description of the national holiday. “Give yourself some liquid courage, and step forward to embrace a little bit of darkness on Frankenstein Day.”
As I write this, comes word that genial Gene Wilder, star of Mel Brooks’ 1974 classic comedy Young Frankenstein, has passed away … less than a day before his holiday begins.
“My favorite Gene Wilder performance,” eulogizes author Jeremy Dick, “would be as Dr. Frederick Frankenstein. It told the story of a descendent of Victor Frankenstein inheriting his Transylvanian estate. He would then create his own monster, like his ancestor”—who’d cause him so much grief that Wilder was constantly trying to strangle him.
“August 30th is National Frankenstein Day,” confirms Time and Date.com, “which celebrates the life and times of English authoress Mary Shelley—who anonymously published this predecessor novel of modern science fiction in 1818 at age 22. She was born Mary Wollstonecraft in 1797 on August 30—hence, the date of the annual commemoration.
Quite a looker … and vixen (below), the forerunner feminist became pregnant at 17 by married poet Percy Bysshe Shelley. And, yes, she had quite a bust!
Hardly chastened, Mary took off with Percy for a summer fling in 1816 … 200 years ago this month … which was to prove fateful.
The new Mrs. Shelley might have been ‘powerful,’ but nothing could match the force of the previous year’s explosion on Indonesia’s Mount Tambora—which had produced “the most powerful volcanic eruption in recorded history” and remains “one of the greatest natural disasters ever to befall mankind.”
Mr. and Mrs. Sleuth went by the still active volcanic island several years back … and this is all that’s left of the once-menacing mountain:
The massive fallout and fumes “turned the sky black all over Europe” throughout the following year—1816 is known as ‘The Year Without Summer’—thereby depressing the Shelleys while ruining their honeymoon holiday. Unable to venture outside, the couple and companions poet Lord Byron and his personal physician John Polidori “decided to have a competition to see who could write the best horror story”—befitting the gloomy sky and surroundings.
When Mary Shelley had become pregnant by her future husband in 1814, they’d escaped to Europe to avoid “ostracism” over their affair in England … and made a stop in Gernsheim, Germany—where, “two centuries before, an alchemist was engaged in infamous experiments,” according to Wikipedia, at his home, FrankensteinCastle. And the rest is her•story!
A few days after the travelers’ bet, Mary had a waking nightmare about an animated corpse—“the hideous phantasm of a man stretched out [on a laboratory table],” she shuddered … and over the next two years completed a novel inspired by her visions.
“Despite the gloomy weather and almost horrific atmosphere,” reads one synopsis, “the experiment comes to life after abolt of lightning is directed through the body of the stitched together cadaver. Dr. Frankenstein, with his knowledge of chemistry and other sciences, created an unknown method to give life to matter that was not living before. This was the stepping stone to his creating the monster that is called Frankenstein, despite it being referred to in the book as just the Creature.”
And that Creature has featured in dozens of movies—from the earliest days of Hollywood and Glenn Strange’s characterization that scared starlets in 1931 (below left) to a Sapphic stag film staged shortly thereafter (below right)!
Though a woman had to publish such a novel anonymously in 1818, two positive reviewers wrote that they “hope to see more productions from this author.” We shall soon see more productions about this author: two major feature films are being rushed to release early next year—pitting ‘It Girls’ Sophie Turner and Elle Fanning against each other in portraying the amorous authoress.
Fanning’s A Storm in the Stars focuses on teenage Mary’s affair with Shelley—“feeling out of step for her time” (below left)—while the Game of Thrones redhead will star in Mary Shelley’s Monster, depicting the 18-to-21-year-old rebel as “sexier, more assured and more contemporary” (below right).
Indeed, the Creature has become something of a sex symbol … with his Bride photo-shopped to sport a trim triangle … and just a treasure trail when embodied by alt-porn legend Joanna Angel.
With today’s trend toward bald beavers, his lusty lady love is now shown with a full merkin (below left) … even bushier than the natural nymph giving him a lap pants in the Sixties (below right).
And the Bride’s shadowy figure is more lethal … and lissome … than ever!
“Frankenstein, throughout the years,” concludes its Official Day Site, “has evolved in terms of its film versions.” Indeed, 1943’s Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man—a forerunner of this year’s Batman v. Superman—starred Bela Lugosi battling Lon Chaney, Jr. for the affections of Baroness Elsa Frankenstein, played by blonde beauty Ilona Massey (below left), who lived right up the road from Sleuth when he was growing up in Bethesda, Md. Today, its film still has ‘evolved’ into a photo-shopped Fine Art print envisioning yours truly’s neighbor nude!
“Frankenstein Day is a unique opportunity,” reiterates its site, “to explore those fantastic films.”
Don’t mind if we do … herewith the Top Ten heroines of Frankenstein films—in chronological order.
Or, as the late great Gene Wilder might say—repeatedly in his related role: “What knockers!”
MAE CLARKEas Elizabeth Lavenza in Frankenstein (1931)
Attacked by the monster on her wedding day, Mae had posed nude 10 years earlier for famed fotog Albert Witzel. She then became a legend “for having a grapefruit smashed into her face by James Cagney in The Public Enemy, released the same year as Frankenstein.
ELSA LANCHESTERas Mary Shelley and the tit•ular Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
When Mae Clarke fell ill, actress Valerie Hobson—later infamous as the wife of sex scandal British minister John Profumo—replaced her in the role…only to be dumped for Elsa, the unknown wife of bisexual actor Charles Laughton. “I did lots of things to earn a living in those days,” Lanchester admitted of her struggling starlet days before Bride—“sat for painters and photographers and sculptors…and I mostly posed in the nude.”
HAZEL COURT as Elizabeth, Victor’s comely cousin in Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
Self-described as “very English and proper,” Hazel was a trained sculptor … yet shocked everyone by reuniting with her Creature from 2 years before (legend Christopher Lee) and agreeing to pose topless for a sculpture in 1959’s The Man Who Could Cheat Death. The then-shocking scene was cut from all prints … which is why it is still considered “the Holy Grail of British Hammer Film’s censored edits.”
CARON GARDNER as Burgomaster’s Wife in The Evil of Frankenstein (1964)
SUSAN DENBERG as Christina in Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)
The Austrian-born model-actress’ accent was so thick that she was dubbed in the cult classic … and then totally disappeared—leading to rampant rumors she’d died of drug overdose. “I became hooked on LSD and marijuana,” she’d said right before vanishing. “It calmed me down, and I made such wonderful love. I took all sorts of drugs when I was in Hollywood…I used to do wild, nude dances at parties held by big-time stars.”
Contrary to the rumors, Susan is alive and well and living quietly in Klagenfurt, Austria … under her real name of Dietlinde Zechner.
VERONICA CARLSON as Anna Spengler in Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969)
“I don’t think I’d ever have worked for Hammer if I’d come along a bit later on,” the modest Yorkshire lass laments, “because I never wanted to take my clothes off”—though she also starred in The Horror of Frankenstein in 1970. “Since I don’t like to strip, that precluded me from any of their later films.” Though not this positive•Lee perfect topless outtake that she refused to allow into the finished version.
ROSALBA NERI as Tania Frankenstein in Lady Frankenstein (1971)
Credited as Sara Bey in co-starring with aging actors Joseph Cotton and Mickey Hargitay {father of Mariska and ex-husband of Jayne Mansfield}, the beauty pageant winner played the evil doctor’s daughter who takes over the family business.
“Tania was willing to take her father’s work to new—and frightening levels,” writes Retro Rambling. “It’s considered a B-movie classic.” And ravishing Rosalba is considered a B-cup classic (above left)—as is her hot actress daughter Francesa Neri, best known in America for the 2001 Hollywood hit Hannibal.
MONIQUE VAN VOOREN as Baroness Katrin Frankenstein in Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)
“The Baroness suffers from her lack of a sex life with her husband {aka brother} and sets her sights on local stud stableboy Nicholas (played by Joe Dallesandro). When she sets him up for experimentation, “Baron Frankenstein rewards her by “granting use of the creature (above) for her erotic purposes, but Katrin is killed during a bout of overly vigorous copulation.”
“Belgian-born Monique van Vooren is wonderful as the Baroness Frankenstein,” raves DVD Drive-In, “a frigid bitch one minute, an insatiable vixen the next.” As mamnificent 40-24-36 Monique mused: “Sure I have an active sex life. What girl with my equipment wouldn’t?”
DALILA DI LAZZARO as Female Monster in Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)
“After Silvana Mangano {grandmother of sultry chef Giada De Laurentiis}, Gina Lollabrigida and Sophia Loren,” announced Andy Warhol after renaming the film Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein for U.S. release, “here comes Dalila Di Lazzaro.” And ironic comparison to the last of the lusty ladies—whose husband Carlo Ponti christened ‘Sofia Lazzaro’ for her early nudie film work …and reportedly had a torrid affair with his protegée Dalila in 1981 (though 41 years her senior)!
Dubbed ‘the Most Beautiful Girl in Rome,’ Di Lazzaro’s monster character “is created by the Baron to spawn a Serbian master race—being the perfect female creation.” Just before bringing her to life, the necrophiliac doctor offers his addled assistant the following advice: “To know death, Otto, you must fuck life in the gall bladder!” And sure enough, Otto itches to get at Dalila’s stitches (above right).
In the immortal words of Khloe Kardashian in Season 7 of the family reality series when looking at implants: “They’re like Frankenstein boobs.”
MADELINE SMITH as Sarah ‘Angel’ Klauss in Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974)
With Baron Victor Frankenstein’s “hands badly burned in the name of science,” Wikipedia summarizes the plot, “the shabby stitch-work on homicidal asylum inmate Herr Schneider {played by David Prowse, whose next role 3 years later would be as Darth Vader in Star Wars} was done by Sarah (above left), a beautiful mute girl who assists the surgeon, and who he nicknames ‘Angel.’”
“When you have a bosom like mine (above right),” Maddy maintained, “there’s a very narrow margin between being sexy and being ridiculous. I don’t mind the jokes. What I can’t stand is the word ‘boobs.’ Not too keen on ‘bosom,’ either.”
Of her legendary lesbian scene with Ingrid Pitt in The Vampire Lovers, “very innocent” convent dropout Smith smiled: “I think the crew enjoyed the nude scenes. I mean, there were two lovely girls I bed. Why shouldn’t they enjoy it? But I can’t say I was over the moon about it” (below).
The END
